Cosmic Plane Intersection

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

good dynamic: character who’s too deeply rooted to a fault + character who’s never been able to form roots anywhere before

ok everyone else shut up this is the only one that matters

I’m starting to sound like a nutcase at work because upper management keeps trying to implement AI programs and AI assistants and Chat GPT and my middle-of-the-road, don’t-infodump, don’t-engage response has been “I don’t like AI”, “I prefer to remain in control of my own tasks”, “I’d rather make my own mistakes”, and “I don’t trust any machine smarter than a toaster”

Gnome eminem: just cos I'm gnomey don't mean you know me. Don't call me homie. In fact you can blow me. Since I started seeing lots of gnomes rapping, halvling MCs who don't know what's happening, half-foots who need a half-hand smacking, go back to the shire and ask bilbo baggins. [beat changes] Haley I'm sorry that I drank your potion

hey dude, idk how much you remember from the party last night but- yeah, everyone saw your want. yeah no it was pretty late and winding down so it was quiet enough that every single person there saw it throbbing and twitching in your chest and so wet with hunger it was glistening under the kitchen light. they said it looked like it was reaching for something

forgive me father for i have sexualized an older man

dude in the other side of the confessional, smoothing back his more salt than pepper hair, tugging at his collar, breaking into a slight nervous sweat that highlights his crows feet and laugh lines: Is that so?

you ever think about how toasters love bread but hate toast

they grab the bread and hold it tight and keep it in their warmth but as soon as there's toast they're like get this shit outta here

of course... so wise. as we know, to be loved is to be changed, but sometimes we forget the change is not always for the better

my mouse keeps shocking me. why are you doing that

feeling like the health inspector

Thank u for this contribution

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

for a moment i lived in a beautiful world where doctor who didn’t exist and this was simply a seven-ate-nine joke too layered for me to understand

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Cinderella