oh rats

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

im not kidding im not kidding have you ever been inside a public bathroom

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

I feel like a deer that’s been hit by a car and left to die almost everyday of my life btw

THEY MIGHT HAVE FIGURED OUT WHATS CAUSING LONG COVID?!?!???

Genuinely the only good news I got in WEEKS

happy pride month to chad and ryan, the lil gay cowboy and roman in the night at the museum trilogy, and every man who played volleyball in top gun (1986).

Girl on tumblr blogging by the hour yet takes 2-3 business days to respond to mobile text messages sorry

She placebo on my effect til I feel like something happened

I’m the founder of the “I suck at keeping the conversation going, but I really like talking to you” club

I love obi-wan’s “I have a bad feeling about this” because he’s never wrong but he never gets specifics from the Force so basically it’s just magic anxiety.

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us

draw it bad and draw it weird and draw it catered only to yourself and draw it wobbly and draw it too small and draw it with the default brush and draw it without using references and draw it and leave it unfinished and draw it for the first time and draw it

im going to like , eat one of you ,eventually

"duble texting is desperate behaviour." OH SO YOURE BORING. SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. SKILL ISSUE. I'm a yapper. I will yap. I'll quadruple text if i need to and I NEED TO because I have a whole day of experiences to share bitch. I'm texting like a young boy who got drafted to the war and is writing letters to his lover over seas. I'm telling stories.

For April Fools' Day, Tumblr deleted every post on the site and all that was left were a bunch of text posts talking about people being literally trapped in the site.