SPOOKY

Metal scrapped as you struggled to shut your locker as students rushed past to get out of the building as fast as possible. You loved when the day finally ended but you didn’t understand people literally running out of the door. Eyes rolled back as the locker finally shut, twisting the lock to ensure your belongings were safe just before turning and almost being startled as Billy picked you up and spun you around. You were immediately taken out of your gloomy trance at his presence, something he did often. You couldn’t help but notice the dirty looks passerbys were giving you as you pulled him closer. That was happening a lot more now that you and Billy were seeming to become more serious by the day. Everyone was so used to him and Sid that they thought you practically stole him from her. You couldn’t help that he decided to leave her and start dating you in the same year. You envisioned yourself strangling every single person you noticed giving you a death glare as you gave one right back. They were lucky you didn’t have the gall to actually do something about it.

Billy stole your attention once more as he grabbed your chin and made you look up at him. He wore a smirk that told you you were the only one on his mind right now and it completely refocused you. He was all you cared about, not those losers who didn’t have the balls to ever say anything to your face. You leaned forward and closed the gap between you both by pressing your lips to his. You loved kissing Billy, almost just as much as you loved fucking him. Which was something you did quite often. It surprised you because you remember him telling you how him and Sid never did anything together. She was such a goody two shoes. Who would turn down an advance from Billy Loomis? Almost every girl wanted a piece of him and you felt lucky to even have that now finally. Eventually, you had to break the kiss but at least you were blessed with being able to look into his eyes now. A chuckle escaped your lips as you leaned into his chest that was always so warm. Billy never smelled bad either, his scent though was unique. Maybe it was your infatuation with him but no guy ever smelled like he did to you. A natural musk was there, mixed with a hint of vanilla and the outdoors. For such a hardcore looking guy, his fragrance was so.. mellow. The vanilla made you think of that soft side he tried to hide. He liked to put on a tough guy act but you knew deep down he had the capability to be soft, when he wanted to. He would show it sometimes. As much as you liked when he was a little rough with you, you had to admit his soft side was very alluring. It almost made you become more of a softie. Something you’d never see for yourself. Maybe you were starting to fall for Billy Loomis and being all soft and sweet was a sign of that. 

You felt a shoulder graze yours as a boy brushed past you and Billy without as much as an apology. A scowl easily made its way onto your face but before you could rip the guy a new one, Billy already had his hand grabbing the guy's sweater and pulling him face to face. You watched intensely as Billy berated him right in front of you, forcing him to apologize. You felt like he would pee his pants and it made you laugh involuntarily, rolling your eyes once more before he ran off. You took Billy’s hand and led him outside so you could finally leave the school. “I think he peed his pants a little.. You really scared him I think” You looked back to Billy to see what his response would be, hoping he would acknowledge it instead of telling you how it was only an outburst and how he was sorry you had to see that. As if he read your mind, he smirked again and yanked you into his side as he spoke “He’s lucky I didn’t cave his face in with my fist, too bad a lady was watching” He looked down at you with the greediest eyes like he could unhinge his jaw and devour you on the spot if he could. It made something in you jump, something you never saw in Billy before until now. It made you think back to other times he had his more aggressive moments and recently they were increasing. At the start of your relationship, he was quite vanilla but he must've been getting comfortable since he had been seeming to prove your assumptions wrong every day now.

Billy put an arm around your shoulder as the both of you marched on toward your house that was conveniently empty for the weekend. He already knew about this since you told him the night prior that your family would be out of the house for some family engagement that you opted out of. Your mother hated how you didn’t really want to interact with your cousins and uncles but you were never really close so why even try now. Your key slipped into the lock and granted you both entry before Billy shut the door behind you as you entered. You told him to wait there as you found your way to the kitchen. You tried to be quick in getting a few beers but came back to Billy gone. You could hear him upstairs, probably in your bedroom and you panicked before dropping your bag and running up after him. “Billy- wait!” Unfortunately you were too late as you abruptly entered the room to see him fiddling with the things you left on your bed from the night before. He looked over to you as he slightly pointed at the Woodsboro Killer book opened to the halfway point, a kitchen knife and the infamous mask almost identical to the one that belonged to the killer of his own ex's mother. Your heart pounded in your chest as you thought about how incriminating it looked. He probably thought you were some crazed fangirl by now. You couldn’t even lie and say that you weren't because that's exactly what you were. Gently, you sat the two beers down on your nightstand and swallowed thickly before starting to speak. “I was just.. reading last night, the whole story kind of fascinated me- look!- I know Sid’s your ex and all and it has nothing to do with her I swear, I was just curious about what the hype was and honestly I was bored, really…” You caught yourself rambling and just stopped as you didn’t let Billy even tell you what he thought of all of this. You examined his body language though it was hard to tell if he was weirded out or not. Then finally he spoke “You don’t have to lie to me y’know.. You’re into this stuff?” He questioned without breaking eye contact with you, probably a way for him to see if you would actually be truthful or try to hide behind a lie. You just nodded and shifted anxiously in the same spot. Then suddenly you watched him pick up the replica mask and hold it in front of his face before putting on a deep voice as he approached you slowly. “Do you want to die tonight? I can make that happen for ya! All you gotta do is ask” The way he spoke made your heart beat harder but you also felt your knees weaken. You had your sexual fantasies about the real killer but didn’t expect a parodied version of that to be coming true. 

Billy lowered the mask and he wore a face you’ve never seen on him before. This one was scary and full of danger, like he actually wanted to hurt you. A twisted part of you liked it. You liked it a lot. Billy took the first move in making you lay back on the bed as he climbed over you, his eyes never leaving yours. He ran a hand up your bare thigh, slipping it up under your denim skirt as he spoke again “You want to be chased by a murderer? Hunted down and held at knife point.. Hmm” He grabbed the knife with his other hand and grazed it against your inner thigh and you could’ve orgasmed right there if you really wanted to. You bit down on your lip to the point of almost drawing blood from the suspense building up inside your stomach. Billy smiled devilishly, he knew exactly what this was doing to you. He really put on the act rather quickly that it frightened you a bit. 

You gripped your comforter in waiting before Billy set the knife aside and leaned down to kiss your lips so softly it was like they didn’t even touch. You exhaled heavily in disappointment and he laughed quietly at your desperation “I wish you would’ve told me a long time ago that this whole killer thing was what got you going.. I would’ve revealed my secret to you then.” You put on a confused face but didn’t get the time to answer as Billy was kissing you roughly while simultaneously grinding down between your legs. You never had a problem spreading your legs for him as you used them to bring him closer, running your hands though his dirty blonde strands. You hated losing contact but you needed to shove him off so that you could undress and have him on top of you again as quickly as possible. You peeled your shirt off of your torso and he did the same. You watched as he tossed his white tee to your carpeted floors and picked up the knife again. He poked the knife into your abdomen, watching the skin compress under the pressure. You bit your lip at the tension and so did he before you pulled him close again to connect your lips. You managed to mutter a few words between kisses “I’d let you.. stab me over and over and over again… just to see my blood on you.” This didn’t deter him one bit and it made you happy, he was just as into this as you were. Billy used the knife on you finally without you even having to ask, piercing your skin at the ribcage. You winced at the sharp pain and moaned at the feeling of your own blood trickling down onto your bed. You would gladly die by the hands of Billy Loomis especially in such a poetic manner. 

Finally, you couldn’t bear to be in clothes any more as you slid your little skirt off. Billy took this as a sign and began getting rid of his bottoms. Your eyes widened as he also slipped the mask on. He really was playing into this, all too well you thought. You didn’t realize how you could've been so lucky. You spread your legs while he watched as you snaked your hand between your legs and pleasured yourself at the sight of him as your number one fantasy. Usually he'd stop you but he just stood and watched you moan louder and louder, tilting his head all without uttering a word. Your climax wasn't reached as eventually he stopped you, tearing your hand away. He wanted to be the one to bring you over the edge. Roughly, he grabbed your knee and forced your legs open, placing himself in between them and pressing his hardened dick up against your slick entrance. Again, he dragged the knife down your torso, the cold steel was a pleasurable contrast to the rising heat within your body. You could feel beads of sweat gather on your back and dampen your comforter as you arched at the feeling. Never did you ever imagine you would see Billy Loomis like this in front of you, embracing your fantasy with such confidence. It was perfect. It felt so real like the real killer was standing over you, getting ready to end your life. You were growing impatient with Billy though, ready for him to take you any way he wanted for however long he wanted. You prepped your lips to speak but was instantly cut off as he entered you without warning. Your body was always ready for him though so it didn;t need time to adjust which Billy knew as he was already pounding deep into your core.

Your hands gripped his forearms as your moans were already filling the room. Clenched legs tightened around his waist as he gave it all to you relentlessly just like you wanted. You could feel Billy’s arms tense as your nails dug into his skin, drawing blood. You were both bleeding now, together and it made you reach your climax much sooner just thinking about it. It didn’t take long for your initial arousal to return as you were brought right back, on time to even recover. You had never cum that quickly, for anyone, not even Billy up until that point. You wished you could see his expression, see what you were doing to him like he could see what he was doing to you. “You gonna kill me? Please.. I want you to do it, only you Billy” The words barely escaped as you breathed heavily. He leaned down and kept the same low voice from before “I’m the Woodsboro killer.. I killed Sid’s slut of a mother” He spoke without a crack in his voice, even though he was penetrating you relentlessly, his voice was smooth. Your heart jumped, almost believing him but you couldn’t. There was no way. You were never that lucky.

Billy pulled back and nodded slowly all while still wearing the mask and it made that knot in your stomach tighter. Maybe he was actually telling the truth. “Want to be my next victim?” He spoke creepily and the moans that slipped from your throat were guttural as you reached your climax again. Billy was fucking you so hard that you could hear the contact of both of your sweaty bodies being made. You were surprised how he hadn’t burned a hole in your bed by now. You held him close as you reached your high yet again. How had he made you cum three times in only a short span of time. The power Billy Loomis had over you was unfounded, and if he truly was the Woodsboro killer then that power had reached new heights. Finally, you felt Billy begin to shake before slowing abruptly. He had given you a gift as he released inside you, the warmth brought you comfort. You held him in place as you wanted him to fuck his essence into you further. You wanted Billy- the Woodsboro killer- to be a part of you in every way possible.

You rode out your high together and now the sound of heavy breathing could be heard from the both of you, in sync. You were one now more than you ever were before. Billy peeled the mask off and leaned down to kiss you sloppily all while still being inside of you. You wanted to question him, make sure he wasn’t lying to you. He shoved his tongue into your mouth and it distracted you but only for a second before you were pulling him by his hair to break the kiss. “Are you really.. Him?” You stared deep into Billy’s eyes and he nodded “I can prove it to you.” Billy got off of you and went to grab his pants, digging through the back pocket for something. You admired his naked frame as he did so. He pulled out what looked like an old photo, folded up. He handed it to you and you opened it. Your throat ran dry as a never before seen picture of Maurine Prescott was sitting in your hand. She laid in a pool of blood, victim of about dozen or more stab wounds. You bit your lip and ran your fingers over the wrinkled photograph. Billy took it back and tossed it onto your nightstand “Still think I’m lying?” He brought your kitchen knife up to your cheek and dragged it down before pressing the knife between his teeth. He had the most crazed look in his eye, the same one from earlier today. 

I watched him get dragged down the narrow slope, right from my hands. I swore I had a firm grip and that Clark did too being that he was stronger than me but whatever had ahold of the love of my life was much stronger than the both of us combined. A tear slipped past the brim of my eyelid, blurring my vision as his words made my ears bleed. “Don’t let go” I felt like I could just sob right there. I wish, oh how I wished, I had the strength of a God right now. How the hell did I let Clark drag us down here into this bright yellow hellscape. We were just fine and somehow things went wrong so fast. This wasn’t like the movies where there was a buildup to the big scary thing that chased after you. This was real. We had no real time to grasp what kind of situation we had gotten ourselves into and before we knew it, it was escalating into horrifying territory. Bobby’s scream faded out as he was dragged down below along the carpet-like floors that reeked of mildew and dampness. It almost smelled lived in, which was odd because this didn’t seem like a place any person would want to live or even have the ability to live in. Before we knew it, Clark and I were also being pulled down the yellow tunnel, the camera following us down. I watched as my lovers mangled body was tugged relentlessly without care. A muffled sob escaped my lips as I shook with fear. Dirty clothes surrounded me and I looked around briefly to get ahold of my surroundings, all I could hear was Clark tumbling down and Bobby being dragged through an odd door that rested in the middle of the wall, opening sideways. What the hell was this place? Was all that went through my head as the continued smell of wet carpet filled my senses and a new smell made its way in. the smell of rot, the only kind that came from a corpse. I could've thrown up if I wasn’t so focused on trying to save the one of the only important people in my life right now.

The door shut as Bobby and the rope still tied to him was pulled through. I wasted no time in going after him, screaming after whatever was doing the job. Hesitation left my body completely. I was deathly afraid but saving Bobby shoved that fear deep down as it was replaced with pure adrenaline. I crawled through the door and was met with a dimly lit room and a trail of blood in front of me. I knew better than to still expect for Bobby to be alive but my hopes still ran rampant. There had to be something I could do. There was no way he was just dead like that, so quickly and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I couldn’t let this place be his grave. It wasn’t right. I flinched as the sound of scraping filled the atmosphere suddenly. It was just so silent and this sound seemed to echo. I couldn’t explain where I was even if I tried. It was just empty. No substance, no real light. Yet there was still a sliver of it. Where could it have even been coming from? I was being met with more questions than answers and I didn’t like where this was all going. I just wanted to find Bobby. I wanted to find him alive. To hug him, to kiss him, to get him and myself the hell out of here. I didn’t even care what happened to Clark. If I found him then hell- maybe he could come but I would never speak to him again. 

The scraping sound continued and I ran. I ran to try and hide. I didn’t even know if hiding was even possible. This place just seemed so open and exposed. It made me extremely uncomfortable and I felt vulnerable in the abnormality of it all. I shut my eyes for a short while until dead silence fell over me. It somehow was louder than the sound of the scraping from earlier. I couldn’t tell which I hated more. Deafening silence or the sound of something out there potentially looking for me. Either way, something was out there and it knew this place better than I did. I would never be able to adapt here, no matter how long I walked around. I would never feel settled. I wouldn’t allow it. 

Eventually, I opened my eyes. As much as I wanted to avoid going further, the fear of standing still with nowhere to go was just as horrid. No one was coming to save me. Was Clark even still looking or did he go back to the exit and save himself? I had no way of truly knowing. I could only rely on myself right now. Bobby was usually the calmer one when I lost my head and I hated that he wasn’t here to comfort me and tell me it was all going to be cool and fine, and that I was overreacting. I wiped my oncoming tears and took a hesitant step forward finally. My hands shook uncontrollably so I clenched them into tight fists to ground myself. Low deep breaths was what I kept chanting to myself in my head as I abided by my own rules. Bobby would be calm, be like Bobby. Be like him. Him. God where was he? Why him? Why?? 

I feared I would never find him and even though I already knew of his fate, some sick and twisted part of me hoped that it was different. I wish I was more of an optimist. I couldn’t help the morbid thoughts that crept into my mind. I really didn’t have a choice. He died morbidly, brutally. No person should ever have to go through what he went through. He of all people didn’t deserve that. I never got to truly tell him that I loved him back. Maybe this was my punishment. All of my regrets were coming up and making themselves known to me. What perfect fucking timing? This place really is hell.

Just then, I saw something in the corner of my eye. I tried to make myself believe that my mind was playing tricks on me and that I was just going insane but I knew better at this point. My head turned just slightly and I looked right at it. It looked right at me. We saw each other and before I could truly comprehend what stood before me, my legs were moving. I was running. I ran so far that my legs burned but the adrenaline that coursed through my veins wouldn’t allow me to stop for a second. Something else did though, a glass wall. A crashed right into it and it sent it flat on my back. I sucked in a tight breath as I tried to gather my thoughts. That same eerie silence fell over me again as I sat up and looked around frantically. Nothing. It didn’t chase me. How strange? I stood slowly without making a sound and looking forward, raising a hand to gently touch the glass wall. A room sat before me that looked much different than the one I stood in. I remember Clark mentioning something about a pool. That’s what I saw. The yellow, carpet like floors were replaced harshly with a white tile. I saw the square pool and before I registered any other details, Clark was stumbling down with Bobby’s camera in hand. I forgot all about my efforts at being quiet and banged on the glass. “Clark! Clark! Over here.. Pleaseee!” I yelled out, a cry finally making its way out of me. I held it back all the way up until this time but I so desperately wanted to be freed from this place that I couldn’t help myself to be strong anymore. 

Clark put the camera down and came to the wall but he behaved as if he couldn’t see me. How could he not see me when I was looking right at him? I waved my hands and pleaded more and more. I could feel the veins popping out of my neck from how much I screamed for him to see me on the other side of the glass. I was standing right in front of him. My eyes widened as somehow that entity was suddenly behind Clark, holding my boyfriend's camera. A confused frown spread across my face as I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Clark seemed confused as well but began to approach it with caution instead of fear. He had to have recognized it. I wasted no time in running in the opposite direction. I couldn’t stand to see anyone else die.

Some time had passed and I don’t know how much but I had wandered so far by now, nothing looked familiar. Not that any of this ever did. I didn’t see any of the things from the first day. How long has it been since I came here? I wondered if time worked the same. Did it feel like time passed here? I wasn’t even feeling that pit in my stomach yet after days of not eating. Maybe it was the shock still resonating within my body not allowing me to feel hunger yet. I still wasn’t processing any of this. This was an unfathomable place and unfathomable things had occurred. I don’t think I could ever come to terms with what was happening to me. 

Hogwarts was a magical place, of course and you couldn’t deny that you loved being a student there more than anything and that you felt like being called to attend was your saving grace. Nothing made sense until Hogwarts. Though, you were still having a hard time due to a very difficult situation you found yourself in. Even in a school full of magic, strange creatures and a world unfathomable to the human mind, you still had to deal with stupid boys who thought being bullies made them cool. Draco Malfoy was the bane of your existence, sure he had his issues with Harry and his group but it felt like your rivalry was different. Maybe it was just his gripe with Gryffindor house as a whole but you were honestly over it. His presence was enough alone and it seemed to be growing more with each day. He really got off on how much it bothered you and unfortunately you had a horrible poker face, you couldn't hide your emotions when it came to Draco and he knew that.

You practically flew down the corridors of Hogwarts, headed towards the library. Students glanced over their shoulders as they could clearly tell you were determined and couldn’t afford being interrupted. The library came into view finally and you pushed the doors open as your maroon and black robe flew up away from your feet from the gust of wind that gathered from the heavy doors being released from the cool library atmosphere. Your eyes searched intensely for the platinum blonde you despised so much. Eventually you caught him slumped back in a chair talking to some other Slytherin boys, joking and laughing about who knows what. Probably something insignificant. You wasted no time cutting the conversation short as you stood between him and the boy who sat beside him. His robe fell open and laid along the ground since he sat back comfortably, his legs spread, a habit he had that you hated. He never knew how to give anyone space, so inconsiderate. It was so indicative of his personality. You kept the same frown that you wore while storming through the hallways, not wanting to give him even the chance to sweet talk you like he always tried to. “Enough is enough, daddy's boy.. I’m over your attitude with me all the time, I don’t know if you’re just bored or something but you seriously need to find something else better to do with your time… Maybe your house would be doing a lot better if you actually focused on something other than me” You kept a stern face as you didn’t want to allow him to see you falter, you wanted him to see that you were serious. It didn’t stop the playful smirk that spread across his face when he stood up directly in front of you, not bothering to move back. Your faces were mere inches apart, it disgusted you but you didn’t want to be seen as the coward here. Gryffindor’s main trait was bravery and you wanted to make sure that was being noticed here. Draco let out a breathy little laugh, the air hitting your face and you hated that it smelt decent. Someone as disgusting as him should not have been so well groomed. Draco tilted his head a bit as he sized you up with his piercing blue eyes. You didn’t like how it made you feel, like you were a spectacle for him to admire or insult in his case. 

“You want me to leave you alone? Hm.. Why don’t I believe you? I was starting to like our banter” He let his eyes trail down your frame again but slower this time. It caused you to cross your arms to stop him from doing so but he didn’t break. He just looked back up to your eyes without a word before stepping closer. Now this forced you to move. You took a hesitant step back and this only allowed Draco to take another step, forcing you back more. Eventually your back hit the library shelves and you could feel the spines of books touching your side. Your face scrunched up at how this was making you feel. You didn’t like that it caused your heart rate to raise slightly. The way he dominated the situation instantly and took all control from you, the way his eyes stayed trained on your face without the slightest break. You couldn’t stand how confident he always was. Draco nodded his head and smirked again, making you wonder what was going through his little pea-sized snaked brain. He raised an arm and rested his hand on the books beside your head and seemed to relax, getting comfortable where he was pressing you up against the shelves. You felt your throat go dry at the close proximity he was forcing upon you. ‘What was his deal?’ You thought. He had teased you before but never like this. Looking at you with serious bedroom eyes. Cowardice fell over you as you looked away but Draco didn’t let that last very long as he was grabbing your face with a cold, firm hand. His fingers rested under your chin and forced your eyes back on him. He brought his face closer and his devilish grin grew wider. It caused you to frown more as you tore yourself away from him, roughly shoving him to create an even greater distance. Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head “Don’t act all scared now little Gryffindor, you were just all so confident earlier.. What happened to your resolve?” 

You wanted badly to reach for your wand and use the worst kind of magic on him. He was lucky spell-work was forbidden during non-class hours. Draco crossed his arms and leaned against the shelves, crossing one foot over the other “Got nothing to say now?” There wasn’t much you could say right now that was legal to say out loud. He had completely derailed your train of thought, something that was happening more and more with each interaction. You didn’t know how much more of this you could take honestly and unfortunately for you, Draco Malfoy got off on that. He was pure evil, and yet for some reason it was getting hard for you to resist. 

You definitely knew of the Pogues due to their wild nature and recurrence in news headlines. Though, you admired how bonded they were and you were seeking something like that so one day you approached them while on the beach. JJ asked if you surfed or smoked, you tell them you dabble and they instantly allow you to join them. John B and Kie were a little more open to the idea of someone new.

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Kie gravitated more towards you since she was a little more chill than the boys, she constantly brought up how ridiculous they were. She invites you to beach clean ups quite often, hoping you're just as eager about saving the earth as she was. You two make simple little seashell art together. She always makes a note to remind you to only find ones that aren't being used as homes for hermit crabs.

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Pope often asks if you want to help him with homework, he thinks having a partner encourages him to actually finish. Of course, JJ steals the show by constantly distracting you two. You both don't mind it though, using the excuse that "you deserve a break" to justify you never completing the assignment in a timely fashion.

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John B is extremely chill. He was instantly cool with you in the group, almost like you had been apart of it all along. He'd see you walking on the street and drive by, honking the horn to the Twinkie and gesturing for you to hop in. Time to time he'd ask for your advice on Sarah seeing as his other friends were a bit more biased.

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JJ was the first to egg on the idea of them coming to your house for the first time. He was eager to see your room and have a new place to hang. Whenever your family had parties or cookouts, you invited them and they happily obliged, they could never turn down a good time and free food. JJ always asked about your cousin that he thought was hot and you shut it down every time but that didn't stop him from asking every time either. You couldn't tell if he was joking or deadly serious.

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JJ always offers to teach you how to surf every chance he gets. You tell him no because you’re nervous but he reassures you that he'll be right beside you when you wipe out and that it's actually really fun. Eventually you say yes after getting annoyed with him asking so much. He turns out to be a really good teacher.

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His love language is quality time. He loves spending time with you even if you’re just sitting in a room together in silence. Your presence is all he needs.

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JJ absolutely loves it when you dress up. He's not really the type but he enjoys that you enjoy putting together nice outfits. He also thrifting with you, allowing you to pick things for him time to time as he trusts your taste in clothes.

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If he sees anything in your favorite color, he instantly points it out to you– pointing at it while you're out or sending you pictures of it, asking you if you want it. Even when you tell him no, he gets it anyway.

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JJ loves it when you agree to ride on the back of his motorcycle. He got you a helmet but it wasn't exactly safe since it was an old one so you decided to get one yourself. You ride with him very often but he likes it when you do. Every time you hop on, he goes "Your chariot awaits." He doesn't really know what a chariot is but he knows people say it when their ride arrives.

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If you argue, he'll just shut down and go smoke or surf to clear his head. His way of apologizing is coming back around as he's smoking, asking if you want some. He knows you don't smoke but he asks as a joke. You two laugh it off and make up, then he sincerely apologizes and says he was stupid for even making whatever you were fighting about a big deal.

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JJ invites you everywhere. When he gets bored and wants to just walk around town or the beach, he'll ask if you want to tag along. He drags you outside to chill on the hammock at John B's place. Before he taught you how to surf, he'd invite you just to sit and watch.

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He loves being at your house (mostly because he hates being at his). He has a drawer of clothes in your room for whenever he randomly chooses to stay over. Your parents love him, they think he's a little reckless but they love how much he cares for you and gets you to come out of your shell. When in your room, he's always touching your stuff, trying on your clothes and giving you a fashion show. He's loves to wear your headbands to hold his hair back at night.

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JJ isn't much of a cook. You don't like him being in the kitchen alone or else he'll burn the place down but he tries whenever you say you want breakfast. All he can really make is eggs and toast and the occasional waffle even though all he has to do is plop it in the toaster too. Your parents love to cook for him though because he loves food.

After arguments, he'll come back to you all puppy-dog eyed and mellow with an apology about how he can't be apart from you, he can't live without you. To which you obviously can't resist, because its Rafe.

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He is so easy to ragebait (lol). You'll say a little joke that rubs him the wrong way and it sets him off, taking it too seriously. You end up having to turn around tell him that you were only joking.

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His love language is words of affirmation and physical touch. No matter how small it is, he loves feeling your physical presence. Whether that's playing with his hair or holding his pinky or even your knees touching while sitting beside one another.

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Rafe loves when you two coordinate outfits, he prefers when it's more subtle than in your face but he enjoys it. He likes when you choose what he wears especially when it compliments your outfit.

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When you two fight and you go home to your parents for awhile to have a break from him, he'll show up and try to convince you to come home. He misses you and hates being in the house by himself without you in it, it drives him insane.

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Rafe doesn't really like your friends that much, mostly because they remind you of how toxic he can be at times but you ignore it. He doesn't like that you ignore it and wishes you'd say something to them but you just tell him they're not serious. He still is skeptical but he knows they're your best friends so he never has any real issue with them. He never antagonizes them because he knows you love them but in the back of his head he's a bit annoyed when they say something or make jokes.

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Rafe has lots of respect for your family, even if they end up not liking him at first. Your family is an extension of you so he never talks bad about them. However, if you have brothers, he'll challenge them here and there when they question his loyalty/faithfulness to you.

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When you two finally move in together after dating for awhile, it gets serious and he tells you to quit your job and that he'll support you. He doesn't want to see such a beautiful person working for what they deserve when he has the ability to provide for you. He will do so gladly.

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Rafe refuses to let you drive, no matter what. He actually enjoys driving and feels like it's his duty in the relationship to be the driver. Even if its short distances, he'll be the one to drive. Whenever you do drive your own car, he will still pay for your gas or fill the tank for you.

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Rafe clearly has anger issues and that shows up a lot in your arguments. He tries not to with you but he catches himself raising his voice sometimes. Instantly though, he'll apologize and say he didn't mean to as to not scare you off or make you more upset.

The truck shook gently as we passed over a pot hole, awakening me from a light slumber in the passenger seat as Rafe drove in silence. I glanced over at him before turning my eyes back to the road ahead before he got the chance to make eye contact. We had been fighting lately, more than usual, and it was really getting to me. It saddened me because I loved Rafe with my entire being and I know he felt the same but I couldn't keep putting myself through the madness of being with him if it cost me my sanity. He needed help and I told him that I’d be there for him every step of the way but he refused to see it. I knew it was extremely hard for him and I wanted him to be able to do it at his own pace but if I was going to be with him I couldn't just continue enabling him.

I had threatened to leave and that broke him, I had never said anything like that before and he didn't know how to handle that emotionally. We agreed to take a short break which ended up not lasting very long as we couldn’t stand being apart from one another. Toxic, I know, but I need him and he needs me. 

He came up with the idea that we needed a getaway, something different from our daily routine to sort of reset and allow us to have a break from real life for a minute, and I agreed. I hadn’t gone on vacation in awhile so maybe this was perfect timing, and maybe he’d finally see that it was time for him to get the help he needs to really allow our relationship to flourish. 

After a bit more driving, we finally arrived at our destination, a lovely estate owned by the Cameron’s. An heirloom, I assumed, that had been in the family for generations and occasionally used as a vacation home. This was my first time ever seeing or hearing about it. I mentally thanked Ward for allowing us to use it for a few days. I liked that it wasn’t too far from home but far enough that I didn’t recognize the nearby area. It would be a nice, cozy getaway and I really hoped Rafe would enjoy it too. I hopped out of the front seat and walked around back to grab my bags but Rafe beat me to it, handing me only my little makeup bag that matched my luggage that contained my various toiletries and other things I used in the mornings. I didn’t even think to protest as he would only tell me no and that he was fine with carrying it. Even when we were seemingly fighting, he still took care of me, it made me feel like an asshole for even being upset with him in the first place but I had to remind myself that I had a reason to be upset. I pushed the thought back and closed the trunk before following him inside.

It was very warm and homey which sort of surprised me. The Cameron’s were very wealthy and that usually warranted more modern decor that felt cold but thinking about how their home looked, this fit. Their house had the perfect mix of wealth and comfort so this definitely spoke volumes to that. A smile made its way onto my face as I continued to look around before walking towards the back, staring out the sliding glass door to see the pool and bar setup. This was definitely a place where lots of gatherings took place. I pushed the lock to the sliding door up and opened the door, the sound of it sliding along the track was quiet and the sound of the outside environment seeped in. I breathed in the fresh air before stepping out onto the brick that paved the entirety of the backyard. The pool was a decent size and ahead of it was a set of stairs that went down towards the dock where a boat would usually go and just before that was a fireplace with chairs surrounding it. Maybe we could start our evening out here, there was a light chill in the air lately. I turned to make my way back in and Rafe was coming back from the bedroom after putting our stuff down, I subconsciously looked away briefly before going to check the room out, to which he spun around to stay back and, I assume, get my reaction. I relaxed at the comfortability the bed presented before tensing up at the thought of sharing it with him if we were still at odds. I felt like I was getting in my own head at this point. Rafe and I shared a bed plenty of times before after arguing but for some reason this felt different. It wasn’t like being back home where I could just leave for a bit and then come back or he could do so. We were stuck together for four days and I was going to have to be a big girl and deal with it.

An exhale escaped my lips as I was able to calm down again, turning back again as I could practically feel his presence behind me, waiting. The silence between us was beginning to feel deafening. I allowed my eyes to finally meet his as I spoke, “This is a really nice place, can’t say I’m surprised though.. You Cameron’s have classy taste so…” I tiptoed over to him and leaned in the doorway in front of him, his head moving down so as to not break eye contact. “I’m glad you like it, I want you to enjoy yourself here.. And I want this to work out, believe me.” I nearly melted at his words paired with the look that went along with it. He spoke again before I could “I love you.. I- I know I don’t say it enough but that’s going to change, I promise you,” and with that he laid a light peck to my lips which I reciprocated.

I reached forward to grab his hand, tangling our fingers together and swinging our hands to acknowledge him, “I love you too Rafe, this will be good for us.. Don’t worry.” I wish I could believe that myself, not to worry, but the truth is that I was worried. I was worried for our relationship and I was worried for him, I wanted him to be healthy and happy but he needed to want that for himself too. Hopefully he would see that this weekend. That he was everything to me and more. He was it.

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He was busy lighting the fire after I had suggested we sit down by the fire pit. The weather was perfect for it. I had changed into some cotton pajama shorts and a long sleeve paired with my comfy bedroom slippers that I occasionally wore outside. I figured I’d bring a blanket as well to combat the cool breeze as I stepped back out onto the bricked pavement. He still wore his clothes from earlier that day, I assumed he was comfortable in that as I watched him move the fire wood around to generate a bigger, longer lasting flame. He looked so calm down there and I relished the sight. I loved it when Rafe was at peace, not at battle with himself, I wished it was like this more often. I caught myself biting my inner cheek at the thought of having to go back home and our real lives coming back crashing down on us. I wished we could just stay like this forever. Eventually, I made my way down to where the fire pit and Rafe was, the sound of crackling filled my ears as the light from the flame bounced off of his face as he turned to him. He looked so sweet. I nuzzled into his side, gripping his shirt to pull him close into the blanket I had wrapped around my shoulders. He quickly put his arms around me and pulled me down into the chair with him, sitting me up on his lap. We both watched the fire grow as the heat crept up our legs and I rested my head on his shoulder. 

“I’d give anything to stay right here in this spot for the rest of my life, what about you?” I asked, cringing slightly at myself for such a cliche question but it was honest. He spoke almost instantly, “I’d do the same, as long as you're involved..” I smiled again, he really did know how to lay the charm on. “Do you have those witty little comments written down somewhere?” I asked with a quiet chuckle and that got the same laugh out of him “What- You don't think I'm smart enough to come up with that on my own?”

I sat up to look at him “No, it's just that you always know what to say to make me melt into a giant puddle everytime,” Rafe found humor in that as he couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped his lips and he shook his head before speaking “Well it’s easy when a beautiful girl is in front of me..” He looked me up and down with those eyes he always used when he wanted to get his way, and it worked every time. I was a little ashamed of how well though. I rolled my eyes and looked back into the fire. Rafe spoke up again, his eyes not leaving me, “I am going to be better for you… I’m going to try to get clean, baby.. I swear to you” He shook his head in desperation as if he really needed me to believe him and I was really trying to, but I just didn’t want to be let down after getting my hopes up. I looked back to him again finally and pulled the blanket from my shoulders as the fire was doing a lot of the work of keeping me warm now. “Okay Rafe.. you know I will always be there for you but I have to see some real commitment from you this time, you are it for me and if we are ever going to be anything more than you need to seriously admit it to yourself that you will get help” I held back tears as I spoke, the somber expression on his face always got to me. He just nodded “You’re it for me too, and like I said.. I swear it, I swear to you I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I don’t let you down” He leaned closer to me and I closed the gap between us as I pressed my lips into his lovingly, as if he’d disappear right from under me. After a minute, I pulled away and gently stroked his cheek with my thumb, just wanting to be as close to him as possible. The moment didn’t last very long before his pocket vibrated, his phone. I moved to let him up and he answered it, from his words, it sounded like it could've been his dad. I sat in silence to allow him to finish the call as I knew things with Ward were always tense. Rafe was always trying to appease him and I didn’t like seeing him when he was that way, it was the driving force of his substance abuse, but I just sat back and refrained from interfering. 

Rafe sat his phone, face up on the brink ledge beside the fireplace and made his way inside again, telling me he’d be right back. I just nodded understandably and sat back in the chair while I waited. Silence fell over me again except for the sound of the fire crackling again. That was, until another sound occupied the atmosphere, Rafe’s phone. He began to get text messages back to back, it made me skeptical but he and I had had plenty of conversations about trust and I was really trying to do my best to be better about trusting him. Though I couldn't shake this gut feeling I had inside of me. The text messages kept coming as if they were egging me on, forcing me to pick up his phone and check it. I sighed deeply and mentally shot myself in the head before I reached forward and grabbed Rafe’s phone. Thankfully I knew his password, I clicked on the messages and it led me right into the den of my worst fears. Angry texts from Barry about getting paid for drugs Rafe was getting from him. My heart sank as the wave of realization washed over me. Rafe was lying this whole time. He was never planning to get clean and he was planning to hide it from the context of these messages. I felt sick. I couldn’t believe he would sit here and lie to me like this. Was this little trip a way to get back in my good graces so I wouldn’t question any further? I was almost fuming as I shakily sat the phone back down on the brick just how Rafe left it. As if right on cue, he came back outside with a bit of pep in his step which I instantly assumed was from doing a few lines just now without thinking I’d have any suspicion due to his heartfelt words and puppy dog eyes.

He went to speak but I didn’t allow it. “So you just sat here and lied to my face..” Rafe’s face immediately changed to one of knowing and a bit of anger, but he tried his best to hide it “Lied about what?” I scoffed and stood, tossing the blanket aside “The audacity you have to stand in front of me and ask that.. Looks like Barry doesn’t know time and place that well, why is he asking you for money? You owe him for some coke??” The anger was practically spilling out of me at this point and I honestly didn’t know what I’d say until the words came out. Didn’t matter though, I needed Rafe to know every single bit of what I was thinking right now. He shook his head and stepped back before clenching his fists, something he did often when backed into a corner. “You- You went through my phone.. Wow, I thought we had a little trust- What happened to that? That don’t mean shit to you?!” Rafe was quick to raise his voice, one of the many things I told him he needed help with which he thought wasn’t true. I scoffed again, he really had some nerve trying to lecture me about trust “You have to earn trust Rafe, and clearly you don’t deserve it because you’re fucking sitting here lying to me and charming me up so I don’t question you, hell- you probably are on drugs right now, aren’t you??”

I could hear the pitter patter of the droplets of rain that hit the pavement outside as I scanned the items of a very eager customer that stood before me. I loved the rain but only from the comfort of my home when I didn’t have anywhere to go. It was nice to look at from inside, under a blanket and silence besides the tv that played a movie I’d put on then abandon after about 10 minutes. I hated the rain now because I was working and it meant I’d have to walk home in it. Something told me to bring my bike today, at least if I got rained on it wouldn’t last very long since I could get home much faster on a bike rather than two legs. I guess I could pay for a taxi but I didn’t really have the money to waste on that and the walk was only half an hour so it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Hopefully it’d stop just enough for me to make it home unscathed.

The machine beeped as I finally clocked out at work. It felt like the longest day ever today and I’m sure the lack of customers was to blame. The store was getting less and less popular by the day and I honestly didn’t know how long it’d be around– how long I’d be around. My boss could decide to let me go at any moment in order to save money and that was something I quite literally couldn't afford to happen right now. 

I had moved out on my own about three months ago and as difficult as it seemed to be at the moment, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Don’t get me wrong I love my family but I needed my own space. There wasn’t anything that really made me move out but I just decided I was ready to be out in the world doing my own thing. To be fair, I wasn't actually “out in the world” yet but that was a work in progress. I liked being home and that got in the way of me going out and actually doing things. I only really went out if my friends decided to plan something but I guess that’s to be expected since we all have our own lives now. No one tells you how your early twenties will go except for that they’ll be the best of your life. What they should tell you is that you rarely get the chance to talk to your friends and hang out, it’s like your strangers every time one of you decides to text one day. However, I did plan on reaching out soon to some of them about this weekend. It was the first I had off in awhile and I wanted to enjoy it. There wasn’t much to do here in Seattle except shop and go out to eat. The occasional bowling alley was around but I didn’t want to risk losing a nail to that so it was up to me to find something else for us to do.

I shut the door of my apartment as I got inside, eager to get out of my damp clothes. Thankfully mother nature did hear my prayers and held off for me as I could hear it finally coming down again as I stalked off towards my bedroom to see what pajamas I’d be wearing tonight. My apartment was always rather cold which I didn’t mind, I’d rather be cold than hot. At least I could wrap myself in a fluffy blanket to escape it.

I got undressed and headed for the shower. Now that, I like hot. Steaming in fact. I liked feeling like I was cooking. The boiling water reddened my skin the second it touched me and I shut my eyes from the comfort. The cool atmosphere from the rain was a nice contrast once the hot water made contact, I always loved how it felt. It was a shock to my system. Eventually though, I did have to force myself to turn the water off and get out. The thought of my rising water bill in the back of my mind. I justified it since I don’t use the normal lights in my apartment very much, so I’d spend a few extra dollars on hot water.

Lamps. Lamps were my thing. I hated using the overhead lights, it always made me feel like I was in a hospital or under a big spotlight where all my imperfections were being put on blast with no way to hide. Lamps brought me comfort and warmth. I wrapped myself up in my towel and walked into my room to turn the lamp on. The yellow lighting casted over my room nicely. It always relaxed me especially after a long day. I could fall asleep standing right here if possible.

Pajamas were on and so was my little crime show I’d play during the nights. It only didn’t bother me because it was fictional and I didn’t have to worry about the very real killers out there coming to my apartment out of all places and ending my life. These shows had humor in them which balanced out nicely with the gruesome cases the detectives handled during the day. I watched before an excruciatingly loud crash of thunder rang through the building. It almost made me jump but the warning a strike of lightning provided was enough to prepare me. I got up and decided to do some chores as the night was deepening. I knew I’d hate myself if I left it out for yet another day so I forced myself off of the couch and into the kitchen to take out my nearly overflowing trash. I tied the knot on the garbage bag and carried it over to the front door before slipping my sneakers on. I kept these specific pair by the door for when I had to step out really quickly and still wanted to look somewhat decent. I made my way outside as it sprinkled still. The dumpster was behind my apartment building a little ways away. I don’t know why they chose to keep it so far from the residents, it didn’t make any sense. I rolled my eyes as I bunched up the fabric of my pajama pants to keep them from getting wet from the puddles under my feet as I tiptoed towards the area where the dumpsters were.

There weren’t many of my neighbors out but I guess that’s normal since it was dark out. Who else would be taking trash out in the middle of the night unless you were a serial killer. I chuckled to myself at the thought before I ended up scaring myself to the point where I had to run back up to my apartment. I turned back after tossing the bag in the dumpster, the contents making the metal make a slightly loud bang once it hit the bottom. My eyes landed back on my apartment building and suddenly time felt like it stopped for a moment. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain running up my arm as a gust of wind brushed my cheek, picking up a few strands of my hair. My eyes dragged down to my left forearm and my brows furrowed at what appeared to be a bloodied bite mark engraved deep into my wrist. My mouth was wide open before any sound came out but eventually I was screaming. I screamed to the top of my lungs as it finally dawned on me and the pain registered to my brain. I gripped my forearm with my other hand and my knees buckled as I staggered towards the ground. My skin was cold to the touch around the area of the bite and it was spreading, fast yet slow somehow. Eventually the sting paralyzed me and I slumped to the ground. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t fight to move. I didn’t have the ability to see if anyone was around that could help me. God it felt like I was about to die yet I couldn’t have felt more alive. My body shook and writhed on the wet ground for what I suspected was hours, I couldn’t tell but the stinging didn’t subside one bit. Soon, I could see the sun start to rise which definitely confirmed my notion about just how long I’d been out there lying on the dirty pavement. 

For a minute, I felt strong enough to drag myself off somewhere, anywhere. I don’t know what it was that made me pull myself away from potentially getting help but I think I was just afraid of the vulnerability that I was in right now. The sky spun as my head hit the ground again, I knew it was more gentle as I laid on the ground again but the way I was feeling made me feel things ten times– no, fifty times more. Everything around me instantly became overstimulating. The sound of wildlife somewhere behind me, the sound of cars in the far distance, the shining sun beaming down onto the pavement. I turned my head as much as I could onto the greenery that lay underneath me, my only sense of comfort. The smell of moss hitting my nose like a harsh wave.

If I could scrunch my face up, I would. 

It was dark again. I couldn’t believe I was out here paralyzed for a whole day. What the hell was happening to me? Fear ran up my spine like the pain I still felt throughout my body. The sting was about halfway into me already. I had no idea when this would be over but I hoped it was soon. I’d rather be dead. Is death even what comes after this? There was no way anything good was happening to me. What was next? Would I even be able to go back to normal life, back to my apartment? Was this the end? Out here on the damp, mossy, dirty ground behind an apartment building ten steps from a dumpster. For the second time, I moved but not of my own volition. A blood curdling scream emerged from my core and forced my body to rise slightly as my back arched. The sting grew, it seemed to become more rapid. Maybe this was finally the end. Maybe the worst was over and I could pass on and never feel this again. Or maybe it would just stop like nothing ever even happened at all, leaving me with a weird form of ptsd. How could I even explain what I was feeling to someone. I didn’t know what else to do at this point. All I could think about was when this would finally end, whether it was with me dying right here or me miraculously standing to my feet and walking away from it.

Dawn came again. The sun made its appearance and if I could cry, I would have as I realized it had been about three days. How had no one come out here in all that time? I tried to force tears to surface as I could feel the surge of a cry trying to make itself known but nothing happened and it was like the feeling you get when you can feel a sneeze coming on just before it goes away. Disappointing. I began to feel again and yet not all. What I “could” feel was how rigid I was, like a statue, unmoving. The only thing I could move were my eyes right now and everything seemed enhanced. I could physically see the rays of the sun as they peered down onto the leaves, which I could also see the many details of. The smell of rain was never stronger. How was it still wet out here? I don’t even remember it raining again since I’d been out here but it would make sense since I seemed to have had moments where I was in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, I felt awakened as if I had taken a power nap yet all I did was blink. A jolt ran through me and all of a sudden the sun was in a different place. Could that much time have passed that quickly? It didn’t matter anymore. I felt different. Brand new somehow, I wasn’t sure if that was the right word but that was what first popped into my head when I really thought about how I truly felt. Then I realized the stinging pain was gone completely. I almost didn’t even remember what it felt like. 

I thought to finally move again, seeing if that was possible and in one swift movement I was at my feet. I don’t remember maneuvering to get up but I was. Standing finally. I couldn’t believe it but I felt incredible, better than I had in a very long time. I also realized that I didn’t need the same things that I did about three days ago. I tried to breathe but nothing happened. How could I not breathe? Did I not need to do that anymore? My attention was stolen as a sound caught my ear which forced my head to jerk towards it. The sound of a person, finally. Someone who could possibly help me. Maybe I could tell them what happened. Maybe they could also explain how no one else had been down here in all this time. It angered me a bit. I was left there, to possibly die. Anyway, I moved closer to the sound and the scent of them grew. It was a musky scent, a man. His heart I could hear somehow, it was steady. He brought his trash down which I could also hear. The bang of the dumpster again hurt my ears this time. I cringed before another smell entered my nose. An iron-like smell, it pulled me to it. I couldn’t resist it. It was a smell I knew well but this time was different. I couldn’t think straight and it was the only thing my senses honed in on. The other sounds, sights and smells were washed away as this new, more dominant one took their place.

I found myself moving faster than light as I came face to face with the man. He seemed just as shocked as I did when I appeared in front of him, then I could see where that iron smell came from. He had pricked himself on a broken beer bottle, he must've tried throwing it away after seeing it lay on the ground. He didn’t know unlucky he was to be the one standing in front of me while I was like this. An insatiable hunger came over me, that pit in my stomach churned at the smell of his blood, the sight of it not making it any better. I was slightly disturbed at the realization that I was craving it like it was food yet I couldn’t stop myself. In a flash, I involuntarily leapt towards the man like my instincts were taking over as if someone else were controlling me. I attacked him viciously with my teeth, tearing into the hand that he had injured. He screamed but I covered his mouth before he could alert anyone. If I didn’t get the luxury of being saved then why should he. My teeth bored deeper into his flesh as my other hand tightened around his face, fortunately shutting him up for good. I wasn’t aware of my newfound strength as well as my speed and insane thirst. An eternity had felt like it passed before I finally was able to pull myself away from him voluntarily. A wave of realization settled on me at what I’d done and I somehow became sick. I stepped back and wiped my face of any evidence. I decided to leave him there as I couldn’t face the reality of what I’d done any longer. My feet moved before I had the chance to think about it and I was deep into the forests that rested behind my apartment building. I couldn’t go back there, never. Something changed me, literally and figuratively. I was better but also worse. I needed to understand what this was and why it happened. I needed answers and I didn’t know where to find them so I just kept running in hopes of the answer coming to me.