kiss kiss fall in big scary hole

Scout: Axe body spray,sweat and bonk,reeks of pure ass but is nose-blind to it,someone hose this man down please

Soldier: Gunpowder and ash with a mild hint of blood, pennies and a wallet-y smell, the rocket-jumping is not helping his case but at least he has (murican) deodorant on

Medic: Blood, cough-syrup and bone marrow, hes a tad nose-blind to the smell but will catch on if he hasnt been to medbay for a while,cherishes the smell and would wear the hell out of it if it was a perfume

Pyro: Ash and gasoline,its strong too so everyone knows when theyre approaching or have been in a room because of the smell,even pyro themselves,they don’t really care but enjoy the smell of their freshly washed uniform

Heavy: Generic mens perfume at a nose-burning rate and a very slight hint of ham and bread that hes too aware of,he is scared of smelling bad so he over-sprays a ton,his guns also have that smell on them

Demoman: Booze, gunpowder and napalm, he feels odd without the smell of booze on him since hes so used to it, he has a hate-love relationship with that scent,on days where he hasnt drank in a while and is sober,he smells like sandalwood and generic deodorant

Engineer: Oil,metal, those car-scent things and an odd metallic scent, he works on machines a lot so he has the lingering scent of it,he takes pride in it and wears it as a badge of honour,he also sometimes gets those scent things and wears them for emotional support

Sniper: Piss and sunflower oil, the piss scent is natural because he has jars of it on him 24/7 but the sunflower oil? he just kinda has that on him naturally for some reason,he reeks so bad ohmygod someone fucking force him into the shower please please ple

Spy: luxurious warm vanilla perfume and a hint of cigarette smoke, absolutely smells delicious even with the cigarette smell going on,layers his scents,probably a fragrantica nerd,10/10 would take a bite out of him :p

They started dating after a particularly long conversation in sniper’s van, sniper accidentally confessed by going into too much detail about his mannerisms,as soon as spy caught on he just asked directly and lo and behold,dating!

It took a lot of trust for sniper to feel comfortable with sleeping his back turned to him (due to obvious reasons)

When they stay together (in snipers piss-reeking van or spy’s room) spy likes to get up early and brew some coffee,he sometimes brings it to him to wake him up,spy has how sniper likes his coffee memorized down to the amount of water to coffee ratio and his favorite mug

Spy never lets anyone take his cigarettes unannounced UNLESS its sniper,sniper also guards his pack from the others sometimes (mainly engineer and scout)

Spy likes to sleep in while sniper prefers to get up early,when they have somewhere to be but spy’s still in bed,sniper threatens to bring one of his jarate jars to his nose like smelling salts,that has him jump up immediately

Sniper sometimes chases spy around while holding a bug he found,spy swears on his soul he isn’t scared even though hes screaming anytime he takes a step

both of them have wildly different tastes, you could get a dead horse from the side of the road that has been sitting in the sun for 6 days,cover it in some evil concoction of condiments and grill it and his only complaint would be it lacking salt while spy would curse your bloodline for overcooking his wagyu steak

They like just kinda sitting out in the night when they’re staying at the van and talk about stuff

They share desserts and other food a lot,spy complains for a second before remembering they’ve shared saliva and some other stuff

When they shower together sniper likes to pull off some goofy hairstyles,spy could be waiting for his conditioner to do its thing while sniper could be giving himself a unicorn horn or alien antennas

^ speaking of showers, they have wildly different routines but sniper insists on getting out together so he just sometimes leans on the wall while spy’s on his 764th step of his care routine

Sniper doesnt like to admit this but whenever he misses spy,he does the stereotypical shirt-pillow thing with any spare clothes he forgets,spy once found this out and teased him to hell and back for a whole month