Scribbly Wibbly Stuff

Garak walked into Doctor Bashir’s Infirmary and asked: “Doctor, would you like to start working as an Obsidian Order agent?”. Shocked, Doctor Bashir jumps up from his chair, then looks at Garak as if he had lost his mind. Garak turns around and starts to leave, but then he stops and asks: “Doctor, could you spare some aspirin?”. Old spy trick: people only remember the end of conversations.

Garak casually approached the rendezvous point with his contact. According to the preplanned signal, he knocked on the door one hundred and twenty-seven times. To no response. He took a step back and looked into the window – just like he thought. On the windowsill there was a sign they had been discovered – sixty-three clothing irons.

Garak has left behind a darling on Cardassia – beautiful Palandine. Just in case, his letters to her he writes in Romulan and with his left hand. He also doesn’t send them.

Garak heard a knock on his tailor shop’s door. He opened them. It was a little regnar. “Hello, little silly. Do you want some milk?” he asked. “You’re fucking silly!” said the regnar. “I’m from the Obsidian Order, idiot!”

Well-disguised, Garak walked down the streets of Romulus. Still, somewhat in him betrayed that he was a Cardassian spy: maybe it was his slightly foreign accent, maybe his Obsidian Order insignia he left pinned to his chest, or maybe just his ridges?

Garak loved to sit in his chair and feel the power of Cardassian literature. The power was electrical in nature and came from the chair itself.

A stranger came into Captain Sisko’s office. He stood in front of his chair and made odd gestures with his hands and various winks. Finally, with an air of intrigue, he said: “Cardassian voles are migrating north, and grain weevils are following after them.” Captain Sisko looked at the stranger with obvious distaste. “Garak’s shop is downstairs,” he said.

Garak opened the door to his bathroom. Suddenly, the light came on. “It’s a trap!” Garak thought. It was actually his mistakenly opened fridge.

The speedometer on Dukat Senior’s skimmer showed 120 km/h. Outside of its window, Garak walked, expertly pretending like he was not in a hurry to get anywhere.

Sisko and a Starfleet admiral are having a coffee in Sisko’s office. Garak with a tray full of oranges walks in, puts the tray to the table, takes the secret documents from the vault and leaves. "Who was this one?" asks the stunned admiral. "This one? It was Garak – the Obsidian Order’s best agent on Deep Space Nine", replies Sisko. "And why don’t you arrest him?" asks the admiral. Sisko frowns. "Eh, he will wriggle out as always!.. Will say he brought us oranges!.."

Garak fell into a deep hole and only got out by a stroke of luck. "Cardassians do not believe in luck", thought Garak and just in case got back into the hole. Doctor Bashir came to Garak's quarters after finding his shop empty. "Garak, I need to talk to you", he said. "Garak is not here", answered Garak. Bashir cursed under his breath and went away. This was the third time this week. Garak drove down the street when he noticed Dukat signaling. He didn't want to pick up him, so drove by. In a few minutes, he saw Dukat again. "Roundabout," figured out Garak. "He is mocking me," thought Dukat. "If we go this way, we will get back quicker," said Bashir. "My dear Doctor, if we go this way, we will get beaten," said Garak "Garak, you're too paranoid, nothing will happen" They turned into the alley and got beaten. "How did you figure it out, Garak?" asked Bashir later. "I just already went this way yesterday," unusually truthfully answered Garak.

Having come back to his office, Dukat noticed Garak hovering suspiciously close to his personal computer.

"Garak, what are you doing here?" Dukat asked.

"Waiting for a skimmer," Garak replied.

"Fine then," Dukat said and headed for the door. In the corridor, he stopped and thought to himself: what kind of skimmer might be in my office? He turned and went back. Cautiously, he peeked inside his office. Garak was no longer there.

#hello again martin and bosco!! sending you boys round for another go :)

And Picard. Apologizes. For telling Data he rambles.