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he isnt? hes a cartoon character

who want me? lol we’re running out of time

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

I can't watch a television show until a demon possesses me and compels me to do it

a key part of being in your twenties is reverting your interests back to books, films and music that someone once gave your teenage self judgment for enjoying

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

girl nothing is ever gonna be all the way together just enjoy the bits and pieces #yourfragments

MESSAGE TO ALL SICKOS: LIVE FOREVER

As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.

57th anniversary of the moon landing and the best diary entry in the history of diary entries. Sit down Samuel Pepys, it’s over. UGH.