The Blog of Jason Speirs aged 34

A poem for David, a poem for Dad, a poem for anyone who has faced loss and hung on to God. :

Looking back and moving forward.By Jason Speirs.

Looking back and my hart is breaking looking back and the tears fall, looking back at the struggle you were with me though it all.

Looking back I would want to have known them longer, looking back I wish I knew them more. Looking back I'm glad I knew you, looking forward I have you at my core.

Moving forward with you beside me, the ones I have lost in my hart.There will be sad days in my life thinking of those who did depart.

Watching the build up of the first FA cup final (that I can remember) I have watched without my Dad. I have the urge to write about the final when I first chose to became a Chelsea fan. May 14th 1994 almost one year to the day after hugging my Dad at Wembley as York City won on penalties to promoted to league two (only 3 months after watching my fist game at Bootham Crescent). 14th in the league, Chealsea's foreign legion consisted of Dmitri Kharine, Erland Johnsen and Jakob Kjeldbjerg they were playing Manchester United whos team included a  twenty year old Ryan Giggs and a certain former Leeds player playing in his fist FA cup final Eric Cantona,The Champions.

 Chealsea had beaten them twice that season so I thought we had a chance, close first half Gavin Peacock hit the bar then in the 60th minute Eddie Newton gave away a penalty Cantona scored another pen and a third goal( scored by Mark Hughes) followed in the next nine minuets and Man U scored a forth in the 94th minute.I remember Cantona totally controlling that game we where out played after the first goal went in.

To all girls who self harm:

Hey little warrior throw down your spears, you've been shooting from behind your veil of tears.

Now you're covered in those marks again, been swimming with those sharks again.

I see you in your princess shoes yore hair all up in braids, now those rays of golden sunshine hang a dozen darker shades.

Because you're covered in those marks again, been swimming with those sharks again.

And your scars are my scars they run just as deep on my hart, on my hart.

If you think I don't know how you are feeling, if you think that I'd just leave you bleeding. Know I'd move the earth to take away the pain your going though, I would even die for you.

Hey little poet don't engrave what you'll regret. It just makes those painful memories that bit harder to forget.

'Cos when you're covered in those marks you're face to face with sharks again.

If you think I don't know how you are feeling, if you think that I'd just leave you bleeding. Know I'd move the earth to take away the pain your going though, I would even die for you.

So do't give the lions what they crave, send the vultures into thier cave.

'Cos your scares are my scares they run just as deep on my hart, on my hart.

Love from God