a man or a fish? dead or alive?

I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the Mass Lobby at Parliament on June 25th, 11am-4pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.

The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It becomes statutory guidance in the UK by the end of June.

Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or don’t pass too well.

A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Ask your MP to:

Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate, and use their free vote on the EHRC Code of Practice.

Support any motions rejecting the EHRC guidance. As of June 4th, Labour MP Nadia Whittome has submitted a prayer motion - Early Day Motion 240.

Write to Bridget Phillipson, the Minister for Women and Equalities about our concerns

Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.

I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.

It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:

Unsatisfied With Wings and Webbed Feet - Submitted by SeesawSiya

FLY is a story about a boy who gets a second chance. Help his story take flight June 9th 11am EST on Kickstarter. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings I hope this story lifts the world to a brighter place.

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

“Wow,” said Saint George as he plunged his most holy of weapons into the enveloping darkness of the beast. “What do you call these genitals of yours?” “It is a word unpronounceable by human tongue,” roared the dragon. “Well, whatever it is, it feels fantastic,” said George.

“Dragon,” said George. “Must you speak so loudly?“  "This is as quiet as I can be,” roared the dragon. “It is also as loud as I can be. Dragons only have one volume.” “Huh,” said George.

And then the dragon ate George. It ate him for the better part of an hour. Then they tried it the other way ‘round for a while, but it was logistically awkward due to their vastly different sizes, so George just ended up doing hand stuff and that worked out for everyone.

“Dragon,” said George as he reclined on the dragon. “Do you love me?” The dragon thought.

“I love things about you. I love the thing we do that is quite like sex. I love making you laugh and when you make me laugh in turn. I love how happy and at peace it makes me feel just to be near you.”

“I don’t love all the pieces of you, but it would be near impossible to count the things about you I do love and I can count very high. I hope that is enough.” George considered this. “Yes,” he said. “I believe it is.” And so it was.

“Hey,” said George as the dragon’s breath began to grow quicker. “If you want to cum on me, that’s totally fine. I have a towel. Knights are always prepared.” “My ejaculate is thousands of degrees hot,” said the dragon. “Oh,” said George. “Never mind, then.”

“I am showing you the weak spot on my belly,” said the dragon. “A single arrow here would strike me dead.” “I am honored you trust me so,” said George. “It is also an erogenous zone,” said the dragon. “Just FYI.”

"One cannot trust a dragon,” stated Sir Pellinore, drawing himself to his feet. “They may speak the words of man, but they do so with a forked tongue.” “A really long, really flexible tongue,” said George. “What?” said Sir Pellinore. “Nothing,” said George.

“George is fighting a dragon again,” said Sir Pellinore. “It’s the same dragon,” said Beowulf darkly. “I thought he impaled that one on his lance. "He did.” “Well, he’s wrestling it now, the brave lad. He’s even doing it in the proper Greek style.” “Of course he is.”

“Behold, oh man,” roared the dragon. “I have engaged in the ancient ritual of cleansing flame, purifying my body completely.” “So we’re clear for assplay?” Asked George. “Oh yes.” “What is that?”

“It’s a cigarette,” explained George. “I’m smoking.” “Of course you are,” said the dragon. “What?” said George. “Nothing. You are being very cute right now.”

“So, I heard you ate Guy of Warwick,” said George. “And I want to let you know it’s okay. We never talked about being exclusive. You’re free to do whatever you want.” “That was not a euphemism. I was just hungry.” “Oh,” said George. “Never mind, then.”

“What are you doing?,” asked the dragon. “I’m trying to work your nipples,” said George. “Not a mammal.” “Right.”

“This is where you live? It’s very nice, as far as caves go,” said George. “I did not realize how dirty it was in here. Your halo is really lighting up the place. Making me see how much I need to clean.” “Sorry. I don’t know how to turn it off.”

“That dragon you’ve been fighting seems to be giving you all sorts of trouble. Do you need help killing the beast?” asked Sir Pellinore. “I notice that you’ve got some claw marks on your back and bite marks on your inner thigh.” “I’m good,” said George.

“How do you like the tea? I made it myself,” said George proudly. “I do not like it very much, but I do appreciate you sharing it with me,” said the dragon. “That’s fine,” said George. “I suppose dragons have different taste buds than humans.” “Sure, let us go with that.”