Make Trek Not War

The thing about Spock being hot is that he isn't framed like he's supposed to be. Yknow? Like the cinematography and the way other characters interact with him doesn't typically imply you the viewer are meant to desire him carnally. So it can be easy to forget for a moment until it just kind of suddenly hits you. And "wait Spock's hot" is perhaps one of the least original thoughts one can have but nevertheless I'm kind of continuously having this revelation

Furthermore he's like. Statuesque. He has a certain poise and grace about him rarely found in men. He's cunty but understated. She ate and she chewed with her mouth closed. You know what I mean? And the whole point of him is that "carnal desire" is extremely off limits. You CANNOT fuck him. Unless.......? And this is the repressed erotic intrigue that invented fanfiction

pissing each other off as foreplay

kelas parmak’s main role in the cardassian government is sitting on castellan garak’s suitcase before official trips so that it can close

Thought you were going to say "sitting on Castellan Garak's lap" and I was nodding along in agreement

why not both!

He quietly takes out half the stuff and tells him he sat on it until it closed. His suitcase, I mean.

star trek fun fact: section 31 was invented by luther sloan so he could psychosexually torment dr julian bashir.

If data becomes a woman and goes on android estrogen, lore will invent transmisogyny wholecloth without any previous understanding of it

Positrogesterol

ziyal survives the war -> is unofficially adopted by both garak and kira separately (Very Separately.) -> asks to spend time on cardassia during the reconstruction -> kira comes along because it’s a disaster out there and she’s not letting ziyal go by herself -> comedy of errors where kira keeps getting mistaken for garak’s quite young wife (but what a lovely daughter you have together! she looks so much like you! divorced, you say? what a shame…) -> kira’s head explodes. the end

Flawless romcom plotting, no notes, though I suspect Garak wouldn't be able to resist, "Well, I don't know, Doctor - Nerys and I have been talking about couple's counselling--"

Well that was a productive use of my afternoon; thank you for joining me on this misadventure.