Every life needs a little colour

I'll admit it I'm a freak who loves airplane turbulence it's like a roller coaster to me. It's fun and a rush and I'm tired of pretending it's not

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

The first time I reblogged this I didn't see your fingers properly and didn't realise just how fucking tiny this dude is. The gauze story makes much more sense now, I was imagining something goanna-sized and thinking you were lucky to get out of the encounter with an entire face.

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

unless its egregious, i'm not embarrassed to be fooled by ai. "oh i got lied to via something made by the Lying Machine the machine we made to Lie really well" like it's gonna happen it's no egg on your face. just be chill about it

don't get me wrong. it's always devastating always humbling. no one wants to fall for the lying machine it just sounds bad. but you can't dwell

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

im deleting this fucking website

It took me a minute

Gotdamn I haven’t seen this post in almost a decade

Stand up comedian with audience of skeletons

being extremely out of the loop especially regarding social media trends and discourse means you often end up learning things only after they've been turned into memes like ten times removed from the original context. for example the first time I ever read the term "girl dinner" it was on a gif of the T-Rex from Jurassic Park eating people so you can imagine the confusion when some time later I stumbled upon posts where people were hating on it and calling it gender essentialist

idk man not to sound like a cartoon hippie but if your entirrrrre blog and dash is about how the world sucks and everyones bigoted i think you are going to give yorself brain worms

"ah but all of this is important and true and if i dont reblog all of this important stuff waga baga THE WORMS! THATS WORMS! THE BRAIN WORMS!

i do not think you are doing activism chief i think what you are doing is sitting in your room flagellating yourself expecting something to happen