The betrayal...
we're not kids anymore.
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@sparkingstorms
The betrayal...

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is Adam Erickson, pastor at the Clackamas United Church of Christ in Milwaukee, Oregon!
Oh finally. A real Christian.
Now THIS man’s read the book
Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure
now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope
One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.
Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?
Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?
Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?
***
Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.
Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?
***
Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?
Customer: …I’m pretty good.
Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee*
***
Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?
Customer: ….they’re okay.
Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.
***
Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.
***
Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.
***
Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!
***
Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.
***
Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!
Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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True himbo representation
i need to make it clear in case people don't know this - this man is a straight up actual practicing Doctor
He what?
Trying
HELP HIM TAKE SIPPY
Who enchanted this PFUCKING wizard
every time
this is how anxiety works, isn’t it
yo is this real

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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An eye-opening perspective (Source)
Sheep in Human Clothing
every writing tip article and their mother: dont ever use adverbs ever!
me, shoveling more adverbs onto the page because i do what i want: just you fucking try and stop me
May I add something, because I will never shut up about this book (Writing Tools by Roy Peter Clark):
Finally, some good fucking advice

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The good plot twists aren't the ones that are wild left turns out of nowhere, they're the ones that make all the other little things that didn't quite add up before suddenly click