Space is my whole life

There's this episode of a popular anime series from the 1990's that I've just watched, and I've been having nightmares about it for almost two weeks. The executives of Toei Animation really didn't want this episode to be aired anywhere on TV for one good reason. So if you read my cautionary tale about this, you'll see why it was completely banned.

It all started when I've been browsing on the internet looking for a DVD of an English-dubbed version of Digimon Adventure (2020) that I've always wanted to get (I've binge-watching the entire reboot on Hulu, and it was absolutely fantastic!). Unfortunately, no dice, because the only DVD of that reboot series is Japanese only. Not even eBay has the reboot series in English.

So I gave up until I've stumbled something that came to my attention. Apparently, Dailymotion (a video hosting site similar to YouTube) has a new, never-before-seen episode of Digimon Adventure (1999). The title states that this episode was apparently banned from being aired on Fox Kids, but nowhere does it state why it was never shown on TV. So I'm like, "Heck, why not? I'll bite in!" And so I've eagerly clicked on the thumbnail (which just shows an innocent image of Lillymon and Mimi) to watch that episode.

The name of the lost episode in question is called "Lillymon's Picnic", and it was supposed to be aired during the Dark Masters arc of the original series, only to end up not being shown on TV, not even in Japan or on DVDs (though the episode does have Japanese voices with English subs). So I wondered why such a harmless episode like that have been banned in the first place.

The episode started off on a good note at first (it's very much like any other episode of the series). It shows Mimi and Lillymon battling with and defeating a hostile MegaSeadramon in the Digital World. Afterwards, Lillymon's stomach growls from hunger, and so they had plans of having a picnic together to take a break from fighting, which honestly sounds pretty cute.

While Mimi prepares their little picnic, Lillymon flutters off to get some fruit. During Lillymon's supposed foraging, her stomach growls again (except a little louder than before), causing her to place both her arms on her abdomen and kneel down on the ground. I can almost tell she's been having a bit of a hunger pain.

What's more is that the music, though barely audible, suspiciously becomes dark and ominous, especially when Lillymon was eyeing at a nearby Floramon unawares. The aforementioned music got louder and intensified as the scene lingered on (including a close-up shot of Lillymon licking her lips with hunger).

It then cuts to the part where Mimi finished setting up the picnic blanket (made up of giant leaves) calls out to Lillymon, but no answer from the latter. And so she sets off to find her partner... until all of a sudden...

There was a horrific screech. A disturbingly realistic-sounding one, at that.

This alarmed Mimi to rush over to the source of that horrible sound, at which point my heart literally sank.

When Mimi arrived, she let out a horrified gasp at what she just saw:

Lillymon is feasting on the flesh of Floramon that she just attacked in order to ease her hunger (which is incredibly out of character on her part!), and there's even glowing blue Digimon blood jetting out of that dead Rookie Digimon's throat where Lillymon had bit her, even with a mosaic filter on the gaping bite wound! Worse still, it's not glowing blue blood that Digimon normally have, rather it's actual RED blood! In case this isn't enough, Floramon disintegrates into bits of data that Lillymon immediately downloaded. Not helping any are the disturbingly dark art direction and the incredibly unsettling music I would expect from any horror media.

"Lillymon! What have you done, and why did you do this?!" I remember seeing the English subtitles as Mimi was crying out that line in a hysterical tone of her voice. I can tell she was in the brink of sobbing.

Lillymon just looked up at her terrified human partner, complete with glowing purple eyes (not to mention, she somehow has four more eyes), as if she's apparently possessed by a demonic spirit, as well as Floramon's blood around her mouth (some of which she licked off).

"Hunger," she murmured, "I need to consume other Digimon to stave it off..."

Lillymon then notices Deramon wondering around, minding his own business. Without any second thought, she swiftly flew over towards him and viciously bites him in the neck, causing him to squawk in agony, along with a disgusting sound of him gurgling on his blood as she kills the poor bird off. All what Mimi can do is helplessly look away in horror.

And then, it gets even worse.

After Lillymon downloaded Deramon's data, she began to digivolve into her enormous Mega form, Rosemon. Unfortunately, this Rosemon is horrifically disfigured, as not only has she got her previous three forms assimilated on her, but also the aforementioned Floramon and Deramon (both of who she killed off). The latter two Digimon are screaming in terror, which serves as a reminder of their horrible fate.

"My hunger still lingers," she muttered as she ominously stares at the camera, with multiple eye roses that sprouted out of her eye sockets, "More Digimon shall be consumed."

Rosemon then proceeds to snatch up several hapless Digimon victims to devour them in a very gory way and download their data

"No..." Mimi reacted, "No, no, NOOO!!!"

At this point I quickly closed that tab so damn hard, I just didn't want to watch that episode any longer.

What the hell is wrong with that episode?! I thought to myself, What degenerate would write something that horrifying?

I was horribly shaken and traumatized by such a screwed-up episode. I honestly can't believe what I've just saw, and it was then when I fully realized the horrifying truth behind its banning.

Worst of all, I even had a dreaded suspicion that one of the show's writers has an incredibly twisted mind and thought it was a good idea to do this kind of disturbing story for this episode. I'm pretty sure the show's producers at Toei Animation were deeply appalled by this and fired him/her for that.

Since then, as stated before, I've been having nightmares related to that episode almost every night. I would have horrible dreams about Lillymon attacking and killing her human victims while biting off pieces of flesh off of them.

Two weeks later, I went back to Dailymotion to see if that traumatizing episode is still there. To my relief, it was taken down (presumably because Toei Animation requested the site to remove it, which wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. And as a result, it's now permanently lost media that's better left forgotten, but even its disappearance is enough for me to recover from these horrific mental scars.

Lillymon is one of my most favorite Digimon in the whole series ever since I first encountered her on the internet in 2000 (I was 10 back then). And now I can absolutely never bring myself to see her the same way again thanks to that accursed episode.

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In closing: Please, for your own sanity and mental well-being, if you see "Lillymon's Picnic" uploaded anywhere on the internet (whether it's on YouTube, Facebook, or even short clips of it on Bluesky, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.), DO NOT WATCH THIS FREAKING EPISODE! Just stay FAR away from it at all costs because it's almost guaranteed to ruin Lillymon for you. And don't hesitate in reporting it to any of the sites' mods to have them take it down.

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Update 6/9/25: I've just learned from someone on Bluesky (who prefers to be anonymous) that "Lillymon's Picnic" first appeared in the dark web where someone distributed without Toei Animation's knowledge. Someone else saw the episode and decided that it'll be a good idea to upload it on Dailymotion (where I saw it).