like a vision in a crystal ball

it’s understandable that guys kept falling in love with gerard because he has a sweet face and big eyes and he’s so earnest about stuff that even though he’s sometimes kind of a loser it just contributes to making him irresistible but i think guys kept falling in love with mikey because he was like doing blood magic on them or something

gerard voice yeah i don’t know why everyone follows me around so much haha maybe i just tell good jokes or something. meanwhile mikey in the next room is in the middle of casting his third spell of eternal sexual obsession of the week on one of another band’s sound techs for no reason other than the love of the sport

mikey has a secret room in his house that he doesn’t let his kids go into and it’s covered wall to wall in shelves full of love spell jars that are all meticulously labelled like “KNIGHT” “WENTZ” “SAPORTA” etc etc all ordered alphabetically and he goes in to dust them off every few weeks and sometimes one falls off the shelf and breaks and some guy that teched for hawthorne heights during the summer of 2005 wakes up in his bed in miami with no memory of the past seventeen years

Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.