Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

"den Umständen entsprechend" is one of my favourite german phrases of all time. Ich sag dir nicht was die Umstände sind, wenn du die nicht kennst ist das dein Problem. ultimate boss of nuance. "it is what it is" but 10 times more german. Ich geh mich jetzt den Umständen ersprechend aus dem Fenster werfen

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

ich möchte nicht kinkshamen, aber es ist mir egal, wie viel gramm protein in deinem linsenauflauf ist

much to consider

the kids in hsm2 shouldve unionized that country club

historical inaccuracies in period dramas are okay as long as i like them

they are, however, punishable by death if i don’t

official boob post

We need to start publicly shaming people for creating huge messes everywhere they go in stores. Retail employees should be allowed to stamp "DOUCHEBAG" on your forehead if you keep fucking up every display you see

At work we call these people hurricane customers (because they walk through the store wreaking havoc like a hurricane) and I think it should become a widely known term that no one would wanna be associated with because it means you're a fucking entitled jerk. Slash serious. If you literally cannot look at an item without completely fucking everything up just ask us for help. It's a better use of everyone's time and it's why we're there

"Making peace with not transitioning because your partner wouldn't like it is valid" is an attempt at conversion therapy btw. Just so you know.

If your partner wouldn't like it, they don't like who you actually are

list of mutuals that are FUNDAMENTAL for a healthy dashboard ecosystem (in no particular order): complainers, 30 year olds, emotionally stunted women, underachievers, people with a sedentary lifestyle, eastern europeans, workaholics and last but not least killjoy feminists