Sophienotsofine's art

Hi, it's time that I revive this account a bit and introduce to tumblr my fic because idk what I am doing with my writing at this point. I flip between please don't read this mediocre piece of writing and this is my identity now and I cannot help but be somewhat proud and show it around like it's a 1 yo baby

✨Fic: Live Strong Pierrot

✨Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64648132/chapters/166068751

✨ Word count: 18k so far

✨Ship: Sebastian/OC (but the slash is not happening until 200k words + prob idk we will see how evil I can be), background Bard/Lau and maybe Ciel/Sieglinde

✨Ship dynamic: emotional support demon x depressed gremlin, sun x moon but the sun burns so bright it exhausts its own fuel then becomes a red giant engulfing other people then becomes a white dwarf, the moon can't live without the sun, for it shines because of it, yin x yang, sacrificing so much for someone who doesn't love you back x I regret not loving you back and have to live with this guilt for ever

✨Genre: Angst angst angst trauma angst, unrequited love for a long long time

✨Featuring: (or planning to feature in the long run)

A demon who goes from “you are insufferable” to “you are insufferable but you are mine”

Neurodivergent OC

130 years of Sebastian going through 5 stages of grief

Getting over depression and disability with a sad sad clown

Prison and a dungeon

CHAPTER 1 IS BEING REWRITTEN RN BC IT SUCKS SO BAD 👷‍♀️🛠🚧🛑

Art by me, and yes it's Pierrot, but in prison. It's a snippet of chapter 6

Wrapping up the first arc of my fic, I wanted to post some of my thoughts on what I wrote in this chapter, on how Ciel feels about Madam Red's reveal as Jack the Ripper and following death. I know that feelings are like a big no no for Ciel and I don't know if I wrote the scene well lol but it's something I've wanted to explore for a while.

Narrative-wise, I think it's interesting that our second arc or the first major arc of BB ends with his only remaining family member dead. Especially when at this point, Ciel had all the power one could imagine at his disposal, including a magical demon, a pretty decent nobility title, infinite money cheat, and arguably the most important aspect: his ties with the Queen. So what is the meaning of all this power, if not to also protect those he cared about? Sure, his main goal is revenge, but Ciel also founded Funtom Corp for the same reason. This is where I turn to jjk for inspo, honestly, particularly Gojo, who failed to save his one and only person he had a human connection with– Geto

Gojo's message applies well.

So, how does Ciel feel about Madam Red's death? The closest word I can think of is helplessness, but a specific kind of helplessness that felt more like a missed opportunity, in the sense that, if you have ever lost someone close too early in life or a relationship, you might find yourself wondering if things could have ended differently if you had done X Y and Z. You know you could have pulled it off, but you missed the opportunity to change things for the better, to help that person, to save them, and ultimately, prevent the loss. Based on his subconsciousness in Emerald Witch, I think he somewhat felt guilty for her death as well.

You can argue that, well, Ciel might not have wanted to save Madam Red. Ciel intentionally isolated himself from others, not only because of his past trauma, but also in the pursuit of revenge. I'd somewhat disagree. Ciel had shown signs of kindness or empathy before in the manga, and I doubt that he'd want to let go of his only remaining connection to his family after the fire.

Vengeance is a special kind of self-destruction, one that Ciel is willing to sacrifice anything else for the sake of it. In his mind, I think he was willing to sacrifice Madam Red if the situation called for it. The tragedy here, though, was that, well, the situation never called for it. And out of everybody, Ciel probably understood her becoming Jack the Ripper the most.