safe as life

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

oh you’re yanking my chain? yank harder

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

It's interesting how, culturally, we've gone from workplace comedy (The Office) to workplace existential dread (Backrooms and Severance). Can't imagine why.

i am so glad its not my job to go to the moon i would have no idea how to do that

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

i think being able to identify and deconstruct an irrational feeling should make it go away. i literally solved your riddle puzzle master can u let me OUT the damn TORTURE LABYRINTH