ⓘ Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

Good bitch, I'm glad none of your people have an ounce of loyalty to you

does that suck, mark? is it not fun to have your privacy violated? do you feel uncomfortable with people knowing things about you that you'd rather they not know? tell me more about how much you value your security and privacy, mark.

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

WTF are the horses doing

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

i don't knowwww *kicks in frustration and hits humpty dumpty again* fuckkkkkkk

STOP

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

they call me the endurer the way i endure and endure and endure and endure and well u get it

broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

where's my useless apprentice i TOLD him it was going to be the duty of the next generation to not repeat the mistakes of those before them and to make this world bet- oh my apprentice goes by her now? you're telling me she's right in front of me! my dear i'm so sorry i didn't know. you look so much more happier and more confident than the bumbling, shy apprentice i once knew. im so proud of you. were you the one who tampered with my fucking runes