fuq u

not because i condone his actions in the series, fuck no. but because from a writing perspective, in his shoes, everything he does makes sense.

most people consider him the antagonist of early s2, but when you actually look at his character, he's a dad just trying to make it work.

is his approach problematic? definitely. but from a world building perspective, it makes complete sense.

he grew up a prince, became king when his dad went missing and his mom fled after killing his wife and daughter. a sudden load of responsibility that, while i dont doubt spark would've prepared him for, i do doubt anything could've prepared him for how the transfer in political power came. and someone had to find the bodies, and i dont remember if they say in the series because it's been a while since i rewatched, but i think it was helgrind just because i remember his mom only fled after helgrind banished her. which i feel is a valid response to finding that your mom just killed your wife and daughter.

i mean think about it, you only get married if you love someone so much that you want to grow old with that person, you have kids together when you both agree youre ready for the responsibility together. having kids in a kingdom is like insurance of having people in line for the throne too, and considering the blood moons, having that insurance is pretty important. furthermore, just statistically, it makes sense they could've had a miscarriage at some point that just isnt brought up, not saying that they did, but they happen every 1/3 pregnancies on average so it's possible, not that that adds much to the argument other than maybes, but just throwing that out there that they could've already had a loss, and thats what made helgrind care so much about his family(?).

but speaking of family, we can infer from marthas dialogue that ianite was an absent mom. which, from helgrinds perspective, as her first born son, would've strained that bridge horribly.

so, for a mother who's hardly even there, to take away your own wife and daughter, you cannot tell me with a straight face that you simply wouldn't crash out, or at least want to distance yourself.

not to mention, it happens after spark is gone. meaning there's probably a wonder if she simply behaved herself because spark was there, if killing them both was ever somehow justifiable, if it was fair. because remember, ianite is supposed to be the goddess of balance. was it fair that, after spark, helgrinds dad, goes missing, that he should lose his wife and daughter, freya and alva, in probably the most gruesome deaths imaginable? ianite lost a husband she cheated on with a tree (who she murdered immediately after they broke up btw) and probably other countless life forms on her 'travels', helgrind lost a dad who likely taught him everything he knew about running a kingdom. their cries are not the same. and it boraders on "i cant be happy, so neither can you" kind of territory comming from ianite.

so, when you disect his actions and words when the series begins, he starts off away from home, royal buisness, likely regarding trades i think since they specialize in trading fish and whatever steves farm produces. but he returns to find the very substance ianite used to kill his wife and daughter is begining to incroach again. and, out of an act of the trauma association, he wants it contained and destroyed. hes even willing to offer the heroes places in the kingdom when their homes are in danger, even offering a space in his castle as a study (i think only mentioned in tuckers pov but maybe sparklez found it at some point?) just so efforts to rid the world of such a horrible disease can be achived quickly.

but, of course, the universe has a way of making broken men break more, and it not only comes back, but it comes back like a vengeance, trying to consume the very castle helgrind had called home for essentially his whole life, as though ianite herself had grown restless in her isolation, and wanted to steal from him what little remained of sparks works, the memories, the castle they once called home.

and meanwhile, his son, his remaining child, is trying to say that the woman who killed his wife and daughter, is good. like, excuse the actual fuck out of me, but no, fuck no, she isnt.

i get that andor either didnt see what happened, or that he possibly repressed it if he did see it. but to actively call the murderer of your mom and sister someone "good" and "just misunderstood" is actually braindead. and most fans only see andor as great because he's a friend to sparklez, who also is problematic character-wise for a whole other can of worms.

also, while i dont agree with the dictatorship mianite creates, what other option was there for the world? people are dying because of the blood moons regularly more than ever. (and while mianite is to blame for the blood moons, it gets also confirmed that mianite isn't conciously causing them.) but the fact he wants praise, while fucked up, makes sense from the perspective of wanting to be thanked for keeping people safe from the terrifying monsters at least.

which brings me to the point of helgrind wanting the kingdom to follow mianite, because mianite at least gives a shit enough to not run when the going got rough with dianite dying and ianites murdurous tantrum before running away. and don't get me wrong, i fucking hate s2 mianite the character as much as everybody else because of the shit that guy pulls. but you can hate a character and understand them enough to appreciate how the writing got there.

but ultimately, a lot of helgrinds true character is revealed in the episode where they go get mianites heart, but most people aren't looking into the character like that and i find that sad.

in the episode, helgrind is under some kind of illusion spell where he thinks he's home again, he thinks he has his wife and kids again, he thinks hes happy again because he has his family and theyre safe and nothing bad ever happened to them. and to cut a long story short and spoil the episode; he dies, having forgotten the truth of his mourning, and his last words were a scream for his family (who are an illusion because of the messed up magic bubble he's been stuck in for irl months (which translates to in game (and thus in universe) years btw)) to run to safety and leave him in the crumbling rubble of the castle, where he is crushed to death.

i just personally feel like the character helgrind got a lot of shit in the fandom, because so many people root for who they're watching instead of looking into any character whos against them. its easier to have compassion for a friend than a foe.

i still don't condone the act of andor being sent to prison and having his wings torn off, but i can at least understand the writing behind why it got to that point.

what if mianite is a loop

spoilers but in the s-1 finale tom and jordan had to both forget everything (at least jordan for sure) cus of the spell to get them both out of the darkness temple

so what if the spell shot the two into the far future of s-1 which would line up to soonish before s1

what if in this time was when the og jerrys tree and the og minecraft project took place? i mean, we already know from the mamas boy animations that jordan came from jerrys tree, and we know that the s-1 world was actually toms minecraft project just redownloaded and made multiplayer (would that also mean the og minecraft project exists in mianite? in this theory, yeah)

so from a lore perspective, what if tom and jordan are cursed? cursed to be stuck in this infinite loop of fighting wot

and cursed to be stuck in a loop of forgetting their battles as to never truly win

and what if, when tom forgets, and dianite shows up to pick him as his champion (i mean, dianite wasn't a part of the amnesia spell, so he would definitely remember tom (who wouldn't?)), it triggers toms memories for only a moment, cus of him being mecha-dianite, but the spell makes him forget almost as soon as he remembers, never truly able to remember his wrongs in a way that he can be better, but simply, cursed to play into this time loop

and what if wot set up this time loop in the first place?

doesn't that seem like the kinda pettty thing wot would do for some sense of victory over the heros?

this would mean tom shooting dianite would be seen as more of a betrayal from dianite's pov, i mean, his old champion has returned and seemed to remember his enthusiasm for following dianite, so he'd have a possible argument to think that maybe tom being different (either cus of being a zombie or the mecha-dianite in him) allowed him to remember, which is why dianite is more harsh with tom in s1? only to be shot by his once cherished champion

as for jordan? the amnesia spell would've definitely worked, seeing as he was the one to cast it

which leads me to the whole thing of s1 ianite and spark, cus think about it, s1 ianite had gone through her prized champion leaving with amnesia, only to somehow come back and remember his unwavering loyalty. than have to leave all over again. and suddenly, this elderly man shows up, but in almost every way possible, he's like some off brand copy of a once great champion (not to talk shit about spark but he's old and probably not as quick with his reflexes as someone in their 20s-30s in combat)

so, back just before valentine's day, a demon somehow ended up in my bedroom. me, wanting to prove im not a coward, did exactly that, and firmly declared my beliefs in the being who created all (for the sake of the post im gonna call said entity god) and its not a lie, even from a young age ive been a strong believer even to the point of getting in trouble for it (i.e. getting in trouble for calling out hypocrisy and trying to do something about it despite being the only one to try) and while my faith has had a lapse when i was a teen, it since got resparked. so, adamantly that the idea of having no faith seems bazar to me.

so, all this to say, when the demon was in my room, it knew i wouldnt give up my faith.

however, one thing ive said on occasion to family is that i dont fear death, and thats still true to an extent. sure, ive had near death experiences before, but ive always been of the opinion that as long as youre right with god than you have no reason to fear dying. and imo that just means not being an asshole.

so, the demon found out i genuinely dont have any fear of death or dying and decided to try to call a bluff that wasnt even there. so, with all its might, it killed me

this is roughly what i believe it looked like, as it gave off this sense of dread i ccouldnt really shake off when in its presence. (yes, the stick figure is meant to be me for size comparison) everything else beside the thousands of mouths was a void. the mouths glowed an inviting white, but as you see, when i got closer, it lead to a void like pit that was its true mouth, rows upon rows of pointed teeth jutting to the center that only got darker and darker the closer i looked.

then, something happened in my mind that even i cant put into words, because quite frankly, even i dont understand what happened in between everything

then everything went from being in a dark void, to this

an angel came and was so bright i only know its this kind because how many eyes were there. i had to convince the angel that i would be able to cope with being alive after that day, and i was allowed to come back on account that i see a priest and a therapist. (and something i thought was strange to mention that: if you bleed on something, you yourself have to burn it) another part of the agreement was that i post on my socials about the encounter, and while i had done that previously, i figured making as comprehensible of a post as possible now that ive had a bit of time to process it all would be a good idea

so as you can all tell, this it getting very triggering for me.

the week or so that followed that night could be comparable to a personal hell, as any time i wasnt around any human, i would be tormented by the demon in ways that i cant even mention out of fear of t.o.s. as they tried as much as possible to keep me in my room as if to keep me hostage

until one day when i broke down to my mom

she got me holy water from the church and i proceeded to sprinkle it all over while praying as best i could

but since that night ive felt like the worst hypocrite of them all. since i was little i had wished to die, in fact, as a child i had no intention of making it to my double digits, and yet, here i am. and when i was nearly out the door, for some reason i decided to stay.

anyways, even though i went around with holy water and prayer, my bedroom hasnt felt safe, and ive been sleeping in the living room since. because being without privacy means no personal hell. so i see it as a win in my books.