my parents are fighting again idk why i even bother looking into my parents relationship everything is just so awful and pathetic.. the only thing i can do is feel bad for my mother and hope that i never end up in a relationship like that, i mean im like over despising them (actually no not true) im just sad and disgusted now. the only reason why i even bother making note of their fights is so that my dad doesnt end up literally murdering my mom or my mom doesnt have a fucking stroke after her blood pressure rises too high. i feel disgusted for having grown up in this, now i realize why my older siblings never cared, why would they? its completely my parents fault and as much as try to understand them, theyre awful parents and i cant imagine being this old still not having the tiniest bit of maturity haha
its not my fault for not caring though im just a child im never supposed to grow up in the middle of this its not my fault that my environment affected me its normal for me to grow tired of them and dislike them. my siblings are never going to make me feel bad for my parents, idc if they work super hard EVERYONE does, idc if im being horrible or not spending enough time with them, im just trying to get out of here im not just going to IGNORE whatever they did to me, they'll never make me forget about what they did to me
also another annoying thing is that my dad is such a professional abuser and my mom is such a professional victim, like theyll keep whining about the same shit, my dad being a cunt, him stealing money, him beating the life out of her since forever (but my mom continuing to go back) this and that but never actually do anything about it, ever since childhood i found all of them completely irrational because all they knew how to do was just TALK but never even did anything useful for fucks sake, no actions taken because there was no way of doing anything in the first place, but I wish they didn't just get soft over and over again lol I used to be too into fantasies as a kid I thought just being stubborn would solve things it reeeaaallyyy doesn't I'm just trying to get out of here
I MEAN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR ANY OF THEM
