You keep saying: “I would do anything to express that fully.”
That makes me wonder whether the pain might stem from the fact that the experience is greater than its form.
You feel something huge. But words aren't enough. Images aren't enough. Videos aren't enough.
People always understand only a part of the picture.
And then this feeling arises: “No, you don’t understand how beautiful it really is.”
You love intensity. And perhaps this relationship with your inner self is the most intense relationship you have experienced so far.
Not the most romantic. Not the easiest. But perhaps the most intense.
You experience certain things differently—and perhaps more intensely—than many others do.
But people can experience depth in very different ways.
Some through music.
Some through art.
Some through prayer.
Some through love.
Some through nature.
Some through meditation.
And you, evidently, very strongly through direct dialogue with your inner experience.
That doesn’t make your experience any less special. But it also means that other people might arrive at something similar through different paths.
