i don't believe in fairytales

second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock

third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson

the funny thing is. I originally typed out "fifth rule of fandom is everything goes back to gilgamesh & enkidu" but then I thought 'no, I can't trust that people will be familiar with the epic of gilgamesh'

"somewhere in the future ilya wakes up one day and randomly decides to get a buzzcut and then their kids can't stop touching his head cause it feels soft"

"meanwhile shane going through the 5 stages of grief over his curls"

myilya for those who believe

💪 💦

"Scarily obsessed with Shane Hollander?" Cliff chimes in " Yeah, we're all a little worried he moved to Canada to stalk the man."

Everyone at the table gives a half hearted laugh at the "joke".

Ilya comes back, not even smelling like cigarettes smoke and the first thing he says is "Did you see the deke Hollander pulled against the Admirals goalie tonight." and no they had not seen it because they had all, Ilya included, been playing hockey at the time. Which means that from their perspective he had just been outside looking at Hollanders highlights for 30 minutes and suddenly everyone at the table is just a little less convinced. Like Cliff was just joking.

Probably.

Rozanov was almost definitely not stalking Shane Hollander.

Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.

My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")

Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.