insert something clever @soleilsolii - Tumblr Blog

When I was at the movie theatre they were advertising a romcom where the premise was that unmarried people are only legally allowed to have sex once a year and that one, that one made me put my head in my hands.

what-even-is-thiss

It’s called One Night Only, it’s a real movie, and yes it’s very heterosexual looking.

That’s like, idk. A premise for a fanfiction porn intro written by a fifteen year old.

sistersorrow

The Backrooms leading to the film industry strip mining internet fiction for ideas has had interesting consequences

str8aura-no-not-that-one

God, i forgot I saw that trailer. I was also holding my head wondering if I understood the premise right. Are they really? No. I'm too fanfiction brained. I must have misheard that. They wouldnt. Would they?

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guccifloralsuits

If THE modern translator of the OG Odyssey text wrote this about my film adaptation I’d kill myself

Emily Wilson you’re goated

readbythestarlight

I’m begging everyone to read the whole thing because she does such an excellent job of breaking down both the few positives and the many issues here, but some my favorite highlights include:

Hello 911 I’d like to report a murder

💀💀💀💀

Hi, 911? It’s me again—

guccifloralsuits

If THE modern translator of the OG Odyssey text wrote this about my film adaptation I’d kill myself

Emily Wilson you’re goated

graybraids

best yard sale find ever:

killhitleragain

Fibonacci: Hmm... I sure wish there was a way to mathematically represent an empty quantity.

The simple yet useful Arabic numeral:

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sugar-petals

hot take in a roundabout way i think that's also why so many of us opt out of becoming parents ourselves

advanced-passenger-train

Does anybody know how to fix it

rosslynpaladin

Start disappointing people and not backing out of it when they are upset, reject feeling ashamed of everything including of yourself, start saying No to things you do not want to do not just things you're scared of, do more of those things you're scared of but wish you could do, make your own plans and execute them, decide to do or not do something without basing it on who will Dislike it.

Free Will takes practice, and the chance of making someone somewhere Slightly or even Very Disappointed In You. But you're an adult and you can't be made to stand in a corner anymore.

kaity--did

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

kaity--did

Criminal charges

kaity--did

Hey hey hey HEY

He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.

pigcatapult

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

kaity--did

He’s not playing with it

He’s eating it.

I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.

I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.

kaity--did

We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole

6 tips

3 of the ear light cover things

Our other cats collar

the ear bud of the vets stethoscope

several hearts

a plastic glove

the vet techs hair tie

Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal

synebluetoo

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

kaity--did

This is his ledge

His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”

I am 5’5”

I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.

cryoverkiltmilk

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

ardentdelirium

... how many hearts are in the vet office

derinthescarletpescatarian

He just stole mine <3

therealdostoevsky

i am nothing in my soul if not academically burnt out

tofublock

grazing

sunsbleeding

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haverst

prosthetic-placebo

greaseonmymouth

urie

americans are sooo desensitized to guns and sometimes it manifests in ways that affect your media literacy. like remember in the first episode of sherlock when john watson opens up his drawer and you see a gun in there and youre supposed to understand that this is narratively significant and conveys his suicidality as well as his willingness to skirt rules and laws but the first time i watched it i was like oh well theres his desk gun. lots of people have those

escapedaudios

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

psychotic-gerard

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

noah-wyles

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hellenhighwater

We had heavy rain last night-- the kind that usually means worms coming up--so I fully expected Vice to have brought me one. Here is this morning's gift:

Two wool dryer balls! Stolen fron the laundry downstairs. Good job Vice!

So proud.

hellenhighwater

Also please know that sometimes my phone tries to do portrait mode and gets it really wrong and instead gives me these cat cutouts on solid color backgrounds.