big BIG fan of hardened hero/vigilante types having regular but non-negotiable fears. especially when those hardened hero/vigilante types are the batfamily. because as much as those guys are seen as cryptids and unbeatable legends that somehow manage to beat every meta around them without breaking a sweat, they are just. a group of guys. and i think thatβs very fucking funny and people should be reminded of that more often.
*the JLA holding a super important strategy meeting in the batcave*
Batman: -the main priority is to ensure the safety of the surrounding area even in the case of a fight, so weβll have people stationed around the perimeter just in case. Hood, can you grab me the signal flares from the store room? youβre closest.
Red Hood, walking over: *grunts*
Batman: *continues to explain his plan as in the background Jason walks into the store room, pauses, and then promptly walks right back out*
Red Hood: *sweetly, from the doorway* Robin?
Red Hood: would you like to go into the store room for me? my darling, favourite brother-mine?
Robin, eyes half-lidded: is there a spider in there?
Robin, sighing in exasperation as he starts walking over: you really need to start trying to deal with these yourself, Hood. you canβt call me every time-
The Flash, watching Damian emerge with a small spider in the palm of his hand while Jason refuses to come out of the corner of the cave: doesnβt that guy chop peoples heads off sometimesβ¦?
*Aquaman, on a mission with Nightwing and Batman, on a platform in the middle of the ocean*
Aquaman: if you have your rebreathers then you can follow me down, itβs not too deep a dive to the site.
Nightwing: *staring into the water* mhm.
Batman: *watching Nightwing in amusement*
Aquaman: β¦Nightwing, are you ok?
Nightwing, still staring: oh- hm? yep. yep, iβm good. iβm- yeah. lets go. lets do this.
Batman: he has thalassophobia. he doesnβt like deep, empty waters.
Nightwing: *staring down*
Batman: *faux shoves Dick forward, as if to push him in*
Nightwing, shrieking and jumping back: bRUCE- I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT-
Superman: the victimβs in that room, if you need to examine the body.
Red Robin: got it, thanks.
Red Hood: so what actually happened to the guy?
Superman, as Tim leaves: well, it seems like the virus infects the mind and causes intense delusions. we think he was driven crazy and ended his own life. itβsβ¦ not pretty in there. he stabbed himself in the eye with a pencil.
Red Hood: *whistles* *pauses* wait. in the eye?
Red Robin: *slams out of the other room, falls to his knees vomiting*
Red Hood, watching Tim calmly: yeah heβs got this thing about things in peoples eyes?
Green Arrow: shit, thatβs a nasty scratch you got there, Bats. right across the eye, too.
Green Arrow: whoβd you fight to get it?
Green Arrow: Damian did that?
Batman: he had a cavity and i had to take him to the dentist.
Batman: heβs scared of the dentist.
Green Arrow: wasnβt he raised by the league of assassins?
Batman: heβs scared of the dentist.
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