What the hey, dude?

Love being reminded that Geralt is the character of all time. He’s a horse girl. He’s a girl dad. Before he went out on the path he gave himself 5 names to seem more like a knight but everyone bullied him about it so he settled for being called “of Rivia” even though he was not from Rivia and had only been there once after he’d become a Witcher. He’s constantly bullied by everyone around him because he’s an idiot. His two best friends are a bard and an elderly higher vampire who doesn’t drink human blood because the last time he did he got so drunk on it he flew directly into a building. He names every horse he owns Roach and always picks chestnut mares. He’s centuries old and didn’t know about periods until he got Ciri and he and the other Witchers got chewed out by a sorceress for not knowing what periods were

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99