I just think im so funny

i will reblog this everytime it shows up because any of my followers could have a bad night right now

Zoned out for twenty min thinking about how I’d explain fortnite to an ancient Roman

....well? don't leave us hanging 👀

I’d open with its a painting but it moves. (It’s enchanted to move?) Uh, sure. (Witchcraft!) I am stoned. Let’s try again. I’d open with its many paintings put together in succession so it has the appearance of movement. Demonstrate by drawing a simple page flip animation of a fish swimming in the margin of a book. Okay. So this buff cat. You see the cat’s head on the muscular man’s body? (Is this an Egyptian god?) Uh, no. It’s just like, we don’t have that shit anymore. I mean, so much time has passed, its pretty much fallen out of the cultural milieu here. (Existential crisis. I get him some tea. He spits it out cuz he thinks it’s disgusting.) ok buddy. So. You good to keep going? Okay so. It’s many paintings in quick succession so it appears to move, and you control its movement. Not the whole painting. Just the cat. He moves around on this landscape. The point of controlling the cat’s movement is like the point of a war game. Loosely. (So you practice war? Sharp nod. War.) Uh, okay. So then, when you get your little man to kill someone, that’s good, right. (What is he doing now?) Oh he’s dancing. You can make him do a little dance after he kills someone. (It’s inappropriate to do a little dance after you take a man’s life.) Okay but it’s not actually — (it’s INNAPROPRIATE. I spit on this). He spits at my laptop.

2020 is saved this the funniest shit I ever seen

i could get so much done if only i could get stuff done

Crab Rangoon

I feel like a more productive conversation to have in the midst of “tiktok is spying on you -> every app is spying on you” is to remind people that you still do have power to limit how much data is collected on you. Switch to firefox, transfer your saved passwords to 1password or lastpass, set your default search engine to duckduckgo (I only need to switch back to google for maybe 2% of my searches), install an adblocker, go through your device settings and turn off any permissions that you’re not sure if they’re absolutely necessary. If you want to go the extra mile, only access social media through browsers instead of using the native apps. Spend an hour on your digital hygiene and you’re making your life that much harder to monetize and surveil.