[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

the response to "your demographic is full of people who are ugly and weird and undesirable" should not ever be "not true! some of us are in fact hot and normal and desireable." you should stand with weird ugly bitches bc otherwise you're just playing a losing game with bigots.

that’s just my nightstand knife don’t worry

There is no Love on that island

pheromones aren't real. sweat is just that good.

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

There were fake cats that were actually robots meant to steal information from you

AI cat videos

sure heated rivalry has enemies to lovers but interview with the vampire has enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

it's the next thing