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a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
neville: *messes up his potion*
gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you
neville: an idiot sandwich
no no no!
Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior
Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*
GR: Whatās going on?
Neville: *explains how he messed up*
GR: Oh gosh okayā¦we can fix this, donāt cry, see, itās fine now? Just be more careful when youāre adding the Newtās eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.
Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*
Yes, he only screams when heās dealing with people that claim to know what theyāre doing and clearly dont, when heās teaching heās very kind and patient because theyāre still learning.
Heād probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.
nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but heāsĀ still a kid. Itād be the teachers fucking up that heād have trouble with.
Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar!Ā
Slughorn: It was a stressfu-
Ramsay:Ā How long have you been teaching potions?!
or
Ramsay: So youāre going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme?Ā
Dumbledore: Itās for the greater good, professor.Ā
Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoorās face* What are you?Ā
Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich?Ā
Ramsay: Yes, you fuckingĀ are.Ā
Okay, now I can reblog it!
@marauders4evr
Fantastic!
@alrightanakin
Iām in love
I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS
My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.
Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasnāt passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.
Itās clear Gordonās leg is in pain. Heās been badly burned without warning. But he doesnāt scream. He doesnāt yell, not even in pain, and he doesnāt go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.
My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasnāt my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).
I didnāt know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what theyāre feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.
Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.
im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful
Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that heāll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldnāt have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay wouldāve hexed his ass to kingdom come.
Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!
-HC
Chef Ramsay would have become the kidsā favourite teacher and you canāt take that away from me.
Imagine him dealing with Umbridge
Every time I reblog this post, I swear to God, it only gets better.
Someboby needs to write a fanfic about this!
<posts this>
Keep reading
okay, okay, i wasnāt going to reblog the ENTIRE THING, but it devolved into a Gordon Ramsay/HP crossover drabble, and some of you might appreciate that ~Taiga
It was after a particularly nasty nightmare when Harry found Draco still reading in the common room. Draco looked up at him, and didnāt stay anything. He just patted the place next to him and wrapped an arm around Harry. They just sat there, with Harry watching the fire as Draco read. Draco was the first one to fall asleep, with his lips slightly parted, and Harry fell asleep with a smile on his face.Ā
Of course, Draco would wear silk.
ā-
My best friend just had her first baby!!! šššššš my other friend passed his Licensure exams!!! YAY!!
I just got asked by another journalist āAre you a feminist?ā and I was just like⦠Is there a strange thing at the moment where you have to come out as a feminist? Iāve been asked if Iām a feminist so many times recently, and Iām just like āYes, yes, for Godās sake, yes! Is there something that I give off that says Iām not?ā
You know whatās great about having an OTP that isnāt canon?
The world is wide open. Anything can happen.
They can be fake boyfriends who become real boyfriends. They can be co-workers who fall slowly in love, fighting it every inch of the way before finally giving in. They can be best friends who get drunk and sleep together, have a huge fight in the morning because neither is sure of the otherās feelings, and then finally work things out when they realise theyāve both been in love for years. They can meet in a foreign city and take advantage of the unfamiliar surroundings to ignore their pasts and embark on a passionate love affair. They can be members of competing sports teams who canāt stop one-upping each other until they finally realise they were both just trying to get each otherās attention.Ā They can be shocked to see each other on a blind date. They can both be chasing the same guy and realise that they actually want each other.
When your OTP becomes canon, youāre limited to one story, and thereās only so many times you can hear that story before it gets old.Ā
When it isnāt their story can go any way you like: short and sweet, long and torturous, fluffy, angsty, angry, romantic, anything at all.

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This is so true
tfw the snitch is right there but youve got better things to catchĀ š
draco doesnāt approve harrys halloween outfitā¦..
Harry PotterĀ Creatures
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā inspired by this (x)

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Apparently, itās meant to be used one-handed.
Interestingly, itās meant to be usedĀ left-handed.
"So, whether you come back by page or by the big screen (ā¦)"
Goddamn sky.
DANIEL FUCKING RADCLIFFE EVERYBODY
God I love him.
YOU PERFECT HUMAN BEING.

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and as a reminder of the violence that tore apart their family.
What if there was no lie?
Nothinā wrong, nothinā right
What if there was no time
And no reason or rhyme?