Me Hoy Minoy

The lord giveth and the lord taketh it back now y’all. Two hops this time.

All great suggestions 

This post gets better every time I see it

i don’t want a job i just want to order stuff online

My blog is exclusively for people that didn’t try in PE. The only people that go to heaven are the bad bitches that walked the mile.

I love you difficulty settings. I love you visible HP bars. I love you full-opacity UI. I love you magnified text. I love you colorblindness settings. I love you quest logs. I love you clear quest instructions. I love you quest and location markers. I love you game maps with roads. I love you dialogue subtitles. I love you sound effect subtitles. I love you music subtitles. I love you video game accessibility.

What if I swab my pussy with this at home covid test to see how absolutely sick it is

honestly if teleporters ever got invented during my lifetime i would be the most annoying analog boomer about it. my grandkids would be like ugh, grandma, why don’t you just take a teleporter trip to come visit us, we all do it all the time and it’s obviously safe and i would be like absolutely not. it kills you and reconstitutes a copy with your exact memories. you are consciously my grandchildren and i do not hold it against you but i know in my heart that you are nothing but copies of copies of copies borne out of irresponsible technology use. i am not touching that devil’s elevator as long as i live. i will take an airplane and you will wait for the several hours it takes for me to come visit you

if you need fewer than 8 hrs of sleep keep that shit to yourself. or do one better and simply lie and say that 8+ hrs of sleep is necessary for you. if you’re out here loudly bragging about ur 4 hour sleep maximum i consider you an oppressor. best case scenario is people clap for you and feel jealous. worst case scenario you signal to the capitalist dogs that we should all try to be like you. the risk is too great and the reward too little

Tbh I am an extremely chill person as long as certain things go exactly the way I need and expect them to every single day

hate going into a store wearing clothes i got from there, like i’m their little bitch or something

I think indeed dot com should have a comment section

i think an abortion ATM would actually be so fun like you go out for drinks w the besties, let the cute server hit it raw after his shift, and then you pull up to the Aborshie 9000 hit "fresh cream pie" and it just sucks the nut right out of you

honestly considered turning on tipping solely bc of this post like this is money

modern life is just a ceaseless barrage of employment housework budgeting netflix phone calls health insurance memes emergency savings fear of aging vacuuming childhood nostalgia grocery lists career goals hopes for the future zombie scrolling existential dread deciding what to cook for dinner followed by more netflix and that’s just Tuesday

Gaud, its sunday.

gaud please today is the lords day

he can HAVE it!

Do us all a favour and put commas in between the list items

social media resume job hunting vacation days mortgage payments car insurance streaming subscriptions facebook alienation take out delivery service uber buzzfeed listicles ikea bank accounts tax forms anxiety meds prescription refills dental insurance oil check routine maintenance kitchen appliances creeping unease thai food costco boxed wine doomscrolling

LA VIE BOHEME

“This is the Lord’s day” “he can HAVE IT!” Is such a fantastic exchange I can’t believe it came off a shitpost.

studies have shown that it do be like that sometimes