Crackin' open a boy with the

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

blood is romantic you guys are just cowards

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

sorry i accidentally called you "my victim" when someone asked about our relationship status. it will happen again.

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

Ok, so in the original Bram Stoker novel, sunlight is not lethal to Dracula. He just loses most of his powers. I'm bringing this up cuz I want a horror comedy where the hero, sensing dawn, tears off the curtains as a last-ditch effort only to have the vampire go "Aw shit, there goes most of my fancy powers. Guess I'll have to beat your ass the old-fashioned way" then proceeds to just deck the hero cuz a vampire at half-strength is still a fucking vampire.

Last ten minutes of the movie is the vampire just beating the shit out of everyone to I'm Walkin On Sunshine. I would watch this.

me to the accursed whispering amulet: hey can you speak up please i have an audio processing disorder

can someone remove my curse

hello is anyone there

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes