smells like books and candy

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

Also the way he just trusts the data and runs with it. He doesn't go "acceleration due to gravity can't be fifteen meters per second, that's impossible," he goes "that can't be true on Earth so I'm not on Earth."

Or it could be a centrifuge. He proceeds to spend half an hour proving it's supremely unlikely to be a centrifuge. Yeah, this man has the scientific method baked into his head.

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

@kittybroker How much for this neat gargoyle?

The fruitful gargoyle now coming in for only $18.99!

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.

i appreciate everyone on that post pointing out that being bad at computers doesn't mean you're stupid but unfortunately this is a coworker who won't stop feeding their dog york peppermint patties

the funniest part is that i agree in principle that all kinds of intelligence have value and dysfunctional processes are born of dysfunctional systems, but in practice i work with scabsy the papillon poisoner, who once tried to tank a union contract with universal $3 hourly raises because they were mad at Me Specifically for not backing them up when they said juneteenth shouldn't be a paid holiday

#i had to call up our union rep like. hey. i don't know what the fuck to call this. but i feel like i should report it??#and the old-school ring-of-keys butch that was our rep at the time took like ten minutes to process what i was telling her#and when she did she was SO angry. she was like. i have literally never heard of a union member doing this. what the fuck.#this is when i started calling them scabsy when relating stories to internet friends#there are so many stories#their dog is named after a cardinal virtue because their spouse wouldn't let them give their child a puritan name#they do math on a print calculator and enter numbers off the receipt into excel#they once got into a longer checkout line at walmart to avoid a cashier they thought sounded gay (he was southern)#they call the dealership while at work to lease a new ford truck every 18 months#they are a landlord estranged from their liberal parents because they refused to get vaccinated#they are in at least five pyramid schemes that i am aware of

^ more of the shit i was just talking about