trinity santos managed to attract every hot woman in the er, uncover a drug diversion scheme, infiltrate princess and perlah's chismis operation, perform a successful reboa that all the senior residents and attendings are now gossiping about, and put a roof over a homeless sopping wet kitten's head, all on her first day on the job

a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.

googling how to slip into a huge beautiful life meant for me

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

girl who finally is going back to reading by finishing one book: now i'm going to read all the books in the world.

whoever invented beds was a fucking genius im just all cozied up in here like u don't even know how cozy i am

if I were a bee I'd fetishize the idea of a beekeeper clipping my tiny wings so I can't escape (remembers you're not supposed to say shit like that) I mean yesterday I ate two yogurts normally

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"