every weekend with your friends Every weekday when it ends damn it's all g o o d, (I guess..) searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb. [This] is what it f e e l s like when you become one of the ❝ drunks ❞
@𝓪𝔂𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓸 : oh WHAT i’m jealous as hell …
@𝓪𝔂𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓸 : idk man u think i knw how to read and write ??
@𝓪𝔂𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓸 : but that would be WILD we should test it out
@beckdarling: honestly i asked if i could borrow him and the lady said no so like maybe not so nice but it’s fine i still have the blunt
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earbuds in, open book in her hand, eyes cast downwards as she continued the walk back to her abode with uncomfortable bag slung over her shoulder. it wasn’t unusual that blue tried to block out everything around her, especially if she’d spent the majority of the day around her friends to begin with. this was her solitude, her time for peace & quiet ─ but that didn’t mean it was going to stay that way !
she heard the voice call out, then ask a question to which she hadn’t heard enough to reply to. eyes glance upwards thinking the person wasn’t talking to her, but when she sees who it was she knows that it definitely was directed at her. ❛ hi, beck. ❜ was greeted as she tugged the earbuds from her ears, clutching them in her hand. she rolled her eyes as if his presence was a hinderance.
❛ & what exactly do you want ? ❜ it wasn’t serious, her tone implying a quick joke as she walked closer to him ( though he already knew she was being facetious, that was kind of their whole dynamic. ) she’ll shove her book in her bag, along with her earbuds. ❛ first you interrupt my music & then you didn’t even use my name ? gonna start calling you ‘ yo. ’ ❜ pause. ❛ what are you doing back here, b ? planning a hit on someone ? ❜
“Bluebell!” All but crooning as she looks up, allowing him a better glimpse at her features, he steps further out from the trees and meets her halfway across the grass. “That better? I thought it was you, but I wasn’t sure.” He sticks his hands in his pockets, tone teasing, grin edging on coy, a familiar playfulness between them, “You can call me anything you want.”
At her question, he glances back over his shoulder and huffs out a laugh, “Guess it could look like that, but nah, I plan my hits behind the frat houses. Music’s so loud no one can hear, ya know?” His attention veers back towards the cigarette still hanging from his fingers, and he raises it into her view, “Wanted a smoke break, but I can’t find my lighter. Do you have one? Or, like, a match or some shit?”
IF SOMEONE ASKED CRUZ WHAT HE WAS DOING , he wouldn’t give them an answer. it was , potentially , because cruz didn’t know what he was doing , but alas , those were just the fine details. he has his guitar strung over his shoulders , strumming a gently tune as he travels through campus. it wasn’t often that cruz open walked around like a wonderwall meme , but sometimes he couldn’t help it. lately , his love for music had grown even stronger and there was something that just made him want to express it more. so , here he was , looking like a high schooler who learned guitar purposely to get laid.
SO IN CONCLUSION , his path leads him to the library , or somewhere near it. he’s not stopping to let people listen and he’s not really singing. just mumbling soft words and strumming his favorite sounds. it’s what brings cruz peace , and then he hears a voice and his peace is interrupted. not that beck is an interruption –– he wasn’t , but it causes him to stop strumming. “ you could be nicer , you know. i have a name. ” cruz turns , and heads in his direction. “ no , i don’t smoke cigarettes and i keep my weed lighter in the dorm. ” a man of honesty at his finest. “ what’s really all you wanted ? i see how it is. ”
Beck’s eyes light with recognition when his friend turns to face him, grin growing, shoulders half-rising into a careless shrug, “Sorry, dude, I didn’t know it was you! Got me distracted with that guitar.” This is far from the first time he’s heard Cruz play, and Cruz is also far from the only player on campus, but Beck has always admired his particular talent. His own parents forced him through piano lessons as a young child, even agreed to let him try the guitar instead when he got a bit older, but he never had the patience or attention to work through scales and remember chords.
“I dunno, I think it’s a good idea to have a lighter on you all the time, anyway. Like a pocketknife, never know when you’re gonna need that shit. I’ll find one, though, it’s cool!” Admittedly, he tends to find himself in situations where those things come in handy more often than the average person, but that’s beside the point. He shakes the thoughts away, rolling the cigarette idly between his fingers as he regards Cruz, “What are you doin’ right now?”
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charlie rubbed her eyes, surely smudging her mascara, as she made her way out of the library, her shoulders only a little hunched from the hefty weight of the backpack that found its place putting an uncomfortable amount of pressure on her neck. the only thing on her mind was the iced almond milk latte that was calling her name all the way from smithies, just out of reach, so close yet so far – wait, what was that? charlie was rudely interrupted out of her own thoughts by a voice she placed immediately: beck. the girl immediately wrinkled her nose as she turned her head, walking towards him. she sighed and quirked an eyebrow, readjusting the strap on her shoulder. “ cigarettes, still? how mundane, ” she mused, “ i’d figured you’d moved on to crack by now. but no, sorry. ”
“Yeah, I mean, they’re so fuckin’ easy to quit,” Beck replies, edging on dryly, but his grin is as mega-watted as ever as he shrugs one shoulder, “You used to have, like, at least two lighters on you at all times, remember?” There are plenty more memories he can reminisce on, but he has enough sense to know, at least, that it isn’t the best subject to press with Charlie anymore. Things were different then, and years have passed since they were anything more than, distantly, members of the same clique. “No, m’not smoking fuckin’ crack, Charlie, Jesus... Listen, it’s whatever. I’ll bum one off someone else.”
@𝓪𝔂𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓸 : i am kidding . i’m screenshotting this and turning u into the police
@𝓪𝔂𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓶𝓸 : no but forreal i sensed you just rolled that blunt huh … come through pls thanks
@beckdarling: wait look at this dog outside my dorm rn his owner was so nice!
@beckdarling: anyway mo what if we’re like telekinetically connected
With a long-suffering sigh, Beck ducks behind the library building into an alcove half-hidden behind the trees, one you would have to be looking for to find. Nearly three years under his belt at this school and, mostly, all he has to show for it is a collection of the best smoking spots on campus, but hey, who’s judging? Plenty of people, he reminds himself as he slips the cigarette out from where he had tucked it between his ear and his unruly curls not even an hour earlier, but they aren’t here right now.
He has been trying, you know—like really, truly putting in his best effort. It’s just that, the second he cracks open one of his textbooks, there’s already pressure building in his head, already restless energy coursing through his body, already the steady beat of need need need in his veins, and the library’s silence is so deafening, he feels like he’s going to suffocate unless he makes his escape. Today went the same as always, hence the smoke break in the shrubs.
“Fuck,” Beck curses gently under his breath and removes his hand from his pockets, scowling down at his empty palm. Where the fuck his lighter went in the past half hour, he has no clue, but he’s more concerned with getting the damn cigarette lit than anything else right now. Poking his head out from his spot, he spots another student nearby and grins at his own luck, “Hey! Yo, over here! You gotta light?”
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「 joe keery. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 BECKHAM DARLINGTON 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY TWO 」year old 「 BUSINESS 」 major has been a part of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE DIRTBAG 」of the group.「 BECK 」is a「 JUNIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 SMOKING & MAKING TROUBLE 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !
hello!! i’m claire, i’m 22, and i’m from michigan (est). this is my trashiest son, beckham, though he goes strictly by beck! i’m gonna ramble about him under the cut but i do have a more collected bio on his nav page if ur interested!!!
so beckham is the youngest of richard and lilliana darlington’s five children, coming from a relatively well known, old money family. his older siblings are all polite, intelligent, successful, and perfectly darlington, but the same can’t be said about beck. in fact, he’s really the black sheep of the family; reckless, loud, aggressive, sloppy, disrespectful, headstrong in all the wrong ways, a troublemaker and, according to his father, a stain on the family’s name.
he wasn’t always this way, though! as a child, he was prone to being looked over and ignored in favor of his older siblings, simply because they were older, and were already enrolled music lessons, riding lessons, fencing lessons, etc etc. the only times his parents ever really seemed to pay him any mind were the times he got himself into trouble just being mischievous in the way children often are, so he learned to associated breaking the rules with their attention early on.
things only got worse after he began school. beck has adhd and dyscalculia, which have always made learning, especially in a school room environment, very difficult for him, but both have gone undiagnosed to this day. rather than trying to understand or reaching out to help, his teachers and his parents blamed him for being lazy, for being disruptive, for not caring, for not trying hard enough. as the curriculum became harder every year, he began feeling more and more lost, and eventually started to think that they were right. frustrated with himself, and with the adults in his life, he just gave up.
that was about when he really started acting out. at first, it was more harmless—showing up to the dinner table with his shirt wrinkled and untucked, arriving home late for curfew, talking back to his father with attitude. but eventually his parents stopped reprimanding him for these things, didn’t even bat an eye, and he had do things that were progressively worse just to get them interested in him again.
even when he was at school, he continued his antics, at that point desperate for any attention he could get. he skipped classes, picked fights, smoked cigarettes openly on campus, vandalized school property… it goes on.
at this point, his parents have all but given up on him. in fact, when he isn’t physically at home, they more or less pretend he doesn’t even exist, shunting him off to the shadows where no one on the outside of their family can see how fucked up he truly is. when he is home, he’s lucky to get more than a cordial greeting, which is about as cold as old money families can truly get.
last year, beck’s behavior was at its worst, and one night, just a few months before turning twenty-one, he got into an awful car accident on the way home from a party late at night. he spent a week in the hospital afterwards. his parents were furious and have begun pressuring him to clean his act up, not wanting more bad press. they even threatened to cut him off entirely if he doesn’t get it together.
he’s been less outwardly destructive since then, which at least makes his parents think there’s been some improvement, but in truth he’s just become more self destructive instead. he doesn’t talk about the accident with anyone.
somewhere down the line, probably around the time he began drinking and popping pills and sleeping around, he became less desperate for attention, and more for some way to forget about all the hurt and anger and loneliness inside of him. it turned into a coping mechanism, one he feels now like he can’t live without. once he starts feeling, he self-medicates until it goes away.
and it sucks because he can’t be alone anymore. that’s part of it, too. he can’t be sober, but he really can’t be alone to his thoughts, sober or not. so he makes friends, and lots of them, and he relies on them to keep his darker thoughts at bay even when the haze of alcohol and drugs can’t.
overall, beck isn’t a bad guy! just angry and hurt and unsure of how to cope with it all. he cares a lot for his close friends and is mostly just interested in having a good time, forgetting about real life for awhile. whether that’s in the form of partying or getting into some trouble doesn’t matter to him.
ok!! so that’s pretty much everything on beck!! i rly hope you guys like him as much as i do bc i’m rly excited to have him here and be a part of this group!! some connection ideas for him: fwbs!!!, closest bros, one night stands, drug dealers, on/off relationship bc he’s commitaphobe, maybe an ex who he actually rly cared about/loved but he just got too scared to stay, partying/clubbing buddies... literally anything!! like this or shoot me a message here/discord if u want to plot, i’m super down to brainstorm some other ideas too!! thanks yall :’)
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