Hell Yeah I Like Potatoes @smolsamoan - Tumblr Blog

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

onceiwashere

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

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hungwy

mermen

add another clove of garlic im not driving

butchspace

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

dontbeanassbutt

take off your glasses if you wear them for 20 seconds

bluelakeandsky

Recommended by my optometrist

Look at something 20 feet away, then 10, then 5, then one, then if you can your nose.

Repeat twice, then again without glasses.

Face forward look out of the corner of your eye. As far as you can look. Slowly move to the other corner. Repeat twice.

Look down as far as you can. Slowly look up. Repeat twice.

Roll eyes twice.

Close eyes for five minutes.

I do this every day usually at my halfway point. My migraines went away. My vision go better. Honestly stretching my eyes as she put it feels great too.

ot3

pulled over to give a homeless guy some cash on the side of the road today and he pointed to my bigfoot air freshener and asked if i believed in ‘that guy’ and no, i don’t, i have the air freshener because my last car before this one (the pt cruiser) belonged to a woman named tracy who loved bigfoot and had a whole collection of bigfoot stuff including the air freshener and she died of cancer which is why her husband was selling me her car and i figured, hey, might as well keep the air freshener in her honor. and then when i had to junk the last car i couldnt bring myself to get rid of it. so now it’s just hanging off my rear view mirror again. which is probably a worse reason to have an air freshener than believing in bigfoot.

ot3

This is the meanest shit you’ve ever said to me Bob

krit-kat

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synth-mage

Best use of marketing at my school

tropiyas

robustmyaft

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

okay

DO YOU EVER JUST WANNA SCREAM SO LOUD WHEN YOU TRY TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE

weaver-z

I'm Mr. Meth Miser... I'm Mr. White... I'm Mr. Blue Crystals... I'm Mr. Drug Delights

richardjager-deactivated2023010

They call me Heisenberg — whatever I touch — starts to cook in my clutch — I’m too much

str8aura-no-not-that-one

I'm Mr Los Pollos... I'll sell your load... I'm Mr Hermanos... I'm Mr Face Explode... Friends call me Gus Meiser... Whatever I touch... Starts to sell by the bunch... I'm too sus

plumslices

Tshirt that says my bush did 9/11

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fandomlife-confessions

weirdgirlvampire

i am LOVING the Twilight Renaissance

lagtim3

@fandomlife-confessions

Fact! Uteruses come prepackaged with half a lifetime’s supply of eggs. Balls produce sperm on-demand. This means there would have been about a two-month period where Jacob found himself inexplicably VERY gay for Edward.

evilbeepthemeep

wait I thought Stephanie Meyers made it canon that Edward can’t produce new sperm and the warm water of the ocean warmed up his sac enough for him to impregnate Bella. So in all Jacob should’ve been gay for Edward all along

eroticcannibal

The warm water of the ocean did what now

i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

That song could be about anyone. When I wrote it, it did come from the heart. Perhaps a broken one.

darkverrmin

happy new year's darlings

izzy-hands

The Witcher + tumblr banned words

chairman-rose-is-king

Good job I only have breakdowns near blisseys

zangoonse

me: *sobbing and crying*

the blissey that charged in from 5 miles away and broke into my house:

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