im dramatic, deal with it.

Tbh if I was a 16th century mercenary-come-theologician-come-occultist and I saw someone do CPR on a dude I'd be like "yeah that's necromancy"

Also literally the next line in this chapter is about how the Persians become immortal by killing dragons and eating their hearts I love being an Occultist.

So what I’m getting is that my Heartsaver CPR certification card and the single use CPR mask I carry in my bag for emergencies count as my Necromancer Certification Card and Necromancer Mask.

Will now refer to all AED’s as ‘necromancy boxes’

CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE INTO A SIMPLE APARTMENT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE UP NEXT TO THEM AND COOK DINNER WITH THEM AND HAVE RANDOM MIDNIGHT TRIPS FOR SNACKS AND STAY UP LATE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES OR WATCHING MOVIES AND BEING ABLE TO SHARE EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE WITH THEM

in a swamp

or in a bog

there’s nothing finer

than a frog 🐸

in the mud

or by the road

there’s nothing slicker

than a toad!!

in a shoe

or in a boot

there’s nothing neater

than a newt!

in the moss

or in a pail

there’s nothing dearer

than a snail 🐌

By the lamp

Or on a cloth

There’s nothing sweeter

than a Moth!

In the grass

By the lake

There is nothing sneakier

Than a snake 🐍

when you

hrngh

you

bitch and bastard are GENDERED terms and thus you must use the neutral: bitchard

happy pride month to the stupidest post on this site.

Accidentally annoying someone doesn't make you a horrible person and you don't have to spend your whole life censoring yourself to prevent it from ever happening.

i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him

“Look here pal, I know my religion, and this ain’t it. Whatever this guy is, they’re clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?”

#not my covenant not my malefactor

You have managed to distill the entire essence of peafowl into a single photo. This is the platonic ideal of what it means to be a peafowl. I can hear this image.

been seeing too many memes about the fake gaston prequel movie this week that are blatantly ignoring the very real gaston prequel show that’s currently in development

in germany we have a word called “durchwurschteln” which is literally translated into “sausage yourself through your troubles” and that is beautiful