Go With The Flow

every day i wish the tumblr sugar daddies were real

yea actually i WOULD like a weekly allowance for being so cute and hot and funny online. i deserve it.

well, you see, the thing is: (instead of finishing my sentence i curl up comfortably in bed and go to sleep

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

My wife's favorite sleep noise app is the kind that lets you mix different noises, one of which is a snoring shih tzu, and she loves to create soundscapes that imply the dog is in imminent danger

The other night I was taking a bath while her bluetooth speaker sat innocently nearby, when she decided to aid my relaxation by providing her favorite soundscape, Dog Engulfed In Housefire

I feel absolute rage when i call An Office and have to sit through a 5 minute recording telling me I can just use their website thanks!!! I can’t! Believe it or not I’m a child of the internet age who went on your website and it was shit!! Get me a human person!!!!

pet peeve

WHO tf keeping pads with no wings in production?? Put it in your draws and by the time you walk out the bathroom it’s down the street buying scratch offs at the corner store. Like girl

one of my favorite genres of post is "evocative imagery"

please be patient with me im from the 1900s