Nobody's Perfect.

Morning bath

Instagram

“friends,” you said

“just friends,” i agreed

but friends don’t avoid each other every day

and friends don’t look at friends that way

-

“just a crush,” you said

“no relationship,” i agreed

but friends don’t flirt and then stay away

and friends don’t look at friends that way

-

“over it,” you said

“over you,” i agreed

but friends aren’t stuck there in the gray

and friends don’t look at friends that way

-

“You can’t.”

I hope your happy

I hope you smile everyday

I hope your happiness is real

I hope you never fake a smile

I hope you find love

I hope they love you back

I hope they never hurt you

I hope you never feel the way I've felt

I hope your love never forgets you

I hope they always reciprocate your love

I hope your bestfriend never leaves you

I hope no one ever makes you feel the way you made me feel

I hope you never feel alone

I hope that even if they don't love you back they stay in your life

I hope they keep every promise they make

I hope they treat you better than you treated me

I could hope for you heartbreak because you caused me pain

Sometimes

I wish

I had tried

Even harder

When you didn't

Answer

I just

Thought you

Needed some distance

The way I sometimes

Do

Space to think

Things through

To figure out

Yourself

When you

Told me

To never

Change

The world

Needs more people

Like you

You are a golden soul

I didn’t see

It for the goodbye

It was

When I told

You things

Would get better

And you said

You hoped so

Had you already

Given up

Or did it just

Hit you all

At one time

Whenever I made

You laugh

Did I somehow

Miss the tears

You were holding back

or was I able to stop

them and to bring you

joy even if only for a little while

Truly it breaks

my heart

to know you suffered

and that you suffered

alone

Don't you know

there was nothing

that could have

made me see

you any differently

Yet I am still so happy

To have met a friend

Like you in this world

to have gotten to know you

was such a blessing

a friendship

carved from pure gold

Someone who loved

Me for being myself

Somebody who

I could always count on

That is why I miss you so

very much

That is why it hurts to have

Lost you way too soon

Could I have made a difference

in your final decision

I don’t know

but we both know I would have listened

Sometimes I think that is why

you didn't call

you knew I can be persistent

You knew I would have

exhausted all the options

to get you all the help

you needed

I would have been right there

in a heartbeat

like lighting

God I wish you had called me

At least one last time

I don't know how nobody ever told you

How you hurt everyone

In the messy expedition for self enlightenment

Feelings will be valid,

While actions remain unjustifiable

Leaving shattered fractions in a self imploded wake

Refusing to drink the bitter truth

How can you be so grossly negligent to supposed loved ones?

Head stuck in the sand, unable to see your true reflection

A mirror with that power might scare you

Cracks across porcelain skin

I don't know how nobody ever told you

Not everything is fucking about you, hon

Rip out a heart with your perverted ignorance

Kill a journey where it could have ended kindly

Spewed entrails of emotion

Is it worth it now?

In a month?

A year or two?

When you ruin it all again, blinded by the wrong thing

Needlessly

Excessively

Wounding all that care

I don't know how nobody ever told you

Your story is not unique

You're just selfish

Inside your own little head

In your own little corner

In your own fucking world

How quickly you forget you were still supposed to care about more than your immediate needs.

Echoes me me me

To the quickly vacating audience

I don't know how nobody ever told you

People would kill for what you let go to waste

Earned through the privilege of support you didn't appreciate

So many people are more worthy of opportunity practically handed to you

Watch as they're sickened by your false perceptions

And overinflated self righteousness

While you force everyone to make the decisions for you

Freed responsibility

Never the precipitater

Of your own situation

I don't know how nobody ever told you

The right way and the wrong way to do what you did

Every step step step

You chose it wrong

Pushing them off emotional cliffs

Not even you could handle understanding what you really wanted

I don't know how nobody ever told you

You hand wrote the worst fucking joke

Many walked a mile in shoes like yours

Never hurting others like you hurt them

How did you not know!?

And why should anyone even need to tell you?