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imagine we’re about to have sex and I’m like “can I put on a playlist” and we start having sex and you realize the playlist consists of royalty free music used in the back of Creepypasta narration videos from 2012

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

(talking to a crowd of people large enough to fill a very big sports stadium) hi everybody. sunbeam on my p(crowd erupts into thunderous applause startling me so bad that I run into a wall and die)

your penis is died. game oval

Source: The Giki Tiki Archives

i like when i put a little emoticon at the end of my parentheticals (like this ^_^) because it turns it into a messageworm