hrng (villager noise)

Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isn’t more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.

when the allegedly cishet neurotypical relative hits you with the "well i think everyones a little bit on the spectrum" "its normal to think about kissing your girl friends sometimes" "sure i've never felt like a woman but i can't change what i am." and you have to suddenly carefully evaluate whether theyre just being dismissive or if you've unlocked some very interesting potential information about your grandmother.

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

matching best friends t-shirts idea one says ‘the wound they will carry for the rest of their life➡️’ and the other. just says ‘⬅️best friend’

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

It's either Chekov loading the gun, or it's Victor Hugo desperately trying to get people around him to get into historical preservation.

born to infodump forced to constantly worry if the other person actually cares or if im making sense or if i said something wrong or if im embarrassing myself or if they want me to stop talking or

i went to eating enough food world and they're excited to meet you. keep eating lots of meals and snacks and take my hand! we can go there.

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………