I, as a trans man, am still wary of cis men I don't know. I am still very aware that a lot of peri-cis white men have not only priviledge, but power over others, including me.

I am also aware that I don't feel safe around people who recite things like "Kill all men" or are self proclaimed misanderists. And this mindset can lead to dangerous ideals of bio-essentialism and even gender-essentialism that labels any man evil, any woman pure, and treats trans men as traitors.

And a lot of these takes lump all men in together when intersex, disabled, trans and men of colour, etc, do not inherintly carry all the same privilege as the white, able bodied, peri-cis man you all default to. In fact they are all oppressed in their own ways. (Money, education and upbringing can also play a part in this)

No one is saying that you can't or shouldn't be wary of men in general, or you can't of had bad experiences with them. But acting as if it is the default of all men does not help anyone but excuse it as something all men do and not an active choice some men make. And something our society does not correctly punish or call out.

The problem is the patriarchy, not a random disabled trans man implying that maybe he understands what oppression feels like.

This is an inherently exorsexist and intersexist worldview, in my opinion.

Bigender people are almost always forced to 'pick' which gender they are 'more', or have it automatically assigned for them. Their pronouns may be conditionally respected, but people get very uncomfortable, when a bigender person challenges the concept of man and woman as opposite. Constantly, you see "male spaces" and "female spaces", discourse about which labels are for men (and therefore not for women) or vice versa, and other similar conversations, inherently leave out men who are women, and women who are men. Bigender people are ignored, or spoken over, or pushed to 'pick' a gender so they can be neatly categorized, because man and woman are conceived as two opposite mutually exclusive ends of a spectrum that cannot intersect.

Agender/genderless/transneutral people are similarly erased or forced to pick sides, often sorted into a box either based on what people assume they're 'closer' to based on their physical traits (and i hope i dont need to stress how dysphoria inducing that can be) or told they're transfem/transmasc regardless because, well, "You're still transitioning away/toward something", because people conceptualize agender/genderless individuals as being not truly genderless at all, but as being merely at the center of the man to woman spectrum.

Then there are perisex nonbinary people who identify closely with their agab, perisex nonbinary women/fems afab and perisex nonbinary men amab. Gender essentialists either try to cut these people out of trans identity entirely, fakeclaiming them, insisting they're basically cisgender, engaging in intense transmedicalist rhetoric dressed up in a slightly more 'acceptable' font now that transmedicalism is somewhat less accepted in the community..or they insist that, despite many not being at all masculine, perisex nonbinary people afab are all transmasc, and vice versa.

I consider all of these things to be misgendering! Forcing any nonbinary person toward any binary or gendered term they do not identify with is misgendering! And it's done constantly by other trans people who would rather be openly and violently exorsexist than rethink their gender essentialist simplistic reductive sliding scale framework for how extremely complex societal structures and personal identities work.

if you are making something featuring multiple flags and you put in the asexual flag, you better put in the aromantic flag.

if you put in the aroace flag, you better put in the aroallo flag.

^ the aromantic flag

^ the aroallo (aromantic allosexual) flag

& just btw, aromantic erasure is so bad that on pubmed, many of the very few studies that have looked into aspec people specifically, categorize us as a type of asexuality. from this study:

Our findings highlight that aromantic people wish for aromanticism not to be considered a part of asexuality—a practice that has dominated contemporary literature (Antonsen et al. 2020; Carvalho & Rodrigues, 2022; Clark & Zimmerman, 2022; Hall & Knox, 2022; Zheng & Su, 2018). Many participants clarified the distinction between their sexual identity and romantic identity and highlighted that though they may be connected for some, they should be considered independently as unique contributors to an individual’s identity and experience. This aligns with a previous aromantic community survey that showed 72% of the sample did not identify with asexual terminology (AUREA, 2021a). In combination with our findings, this suggests that a tendency to conflate and describe these identities as the same or linked may be to the disadvantage of a significant portion of the aromantic community.

this is why it is so important to include aromantic people as our own group and to specifically include non-asexual aromantics. i hope y'all can understand how frustrating it is to be erased through a group that is already erased.

asexual representation is sparse? all aromantic rep is asexual and most of the time people don't even bother to remember that "aromantic" is its own thing. i can't count how many times i've seen a character talk about not experiencing romantic attraction, only for people to go "wow asexual rep!" even though sexual attraction was never brought up.

asexual community & resources are sparse? when i try to look up groups for aromantics, i get resources on "ace & aro groups" that are literally all asexual-focused. at best asexual-focused with a mention of aromantic people. which isn't really helpful when you are aroallo and don't really want or need a group that is clearly meant for alloro asexuals and aroaces.

asexual history is sparse? i've literally never seen anything even trying to talk about aromantic history. the most impactful thing on aro history is that one tumblr post talking about a woman at a nursing home who heard the term and realized her best friend was likely aro. see above with the character situation as well.

my point here is not "aros have it worse than aces" because we are both aspec and both get fucked over by the same forces and in fact, a LOT of asexual aromantics are also very frustrated by aromantic erasure! i've even heard some people talk about not identifying as strongly as asexual, even though it fits them, because they feel their aro identity is more important to them but gets constantly erased by their asexuality.

my point is that it is so fucking disheartening to be aro even in queer spaces that are trying to be asexual-inclusive, even in supposedly aspec spaces, because it swiftly becomes apparent that people see your entire identity as just a footnote for asexuality. so many people never even realize they are aro because they aren't asexual and don't realize that you can be aro but not ace. i dealt with some really intense arophobia as a teen after realizing i was aro, feeling broken and alone. it hit much harder than any internalized homophobia or transphobia did for me at the time. i did not meet another person who identified as aromantic irl until this year. any resources and community that i had as a queer teen, as a trans teen, did not exist for me as an aro teen and does not exist for me as an aro adult, really.

and big problem is that, because people think of aromanticism as just a footnote of asexuality, they implicitly assume that more asexual rep, more asexual resources, more asexual visibility will automatically serve aromantics too. and when it doesn't work like that, aro people continue to suffer as a result.

UK legislation: Online Safety Act 2023

Brazil legislation: Digital Statute For Children And Adolescents

Apple App Store Age Verification

These are not tumblr specific policies. Tumblr is implementing age verification in response to legislative moves that were made months ago.

Tumblr is a failing social media site that has escaped death multiple times already; they do not have the social cachet to defy state regulatory agencies. We know they won't say no to Apple, either--the porn ban on tumblr was in response to Apple's crackdown on explicit content.

If you did not know this was happening, you were behind the curve. That is fine. You're caught up now. The next step is to link up with people in your country who are working to preserve privacy, to roll back these laws where they exist, and to prevent their passage where they do not. In the US the organization you want is Stop KOSA--in the EU you can start with Fight Chat Control.

A fascist might say that a healthy and strong nation is represented by a white traditional family. A liberal will disagree on the surface - they'd be likely to say that gender diversity and cultural diversity are signs of health and strength. But they're still operating under assumption that "nation", "health", and "strength" are neutral or positive political concepts.

And once you start noticing it, you notice it everywhere. People aren't arguing whether sorting people into ranks by quality is acceptable, they're arguing who's the real superman and who's the diseased collection of abnormalities.

That's what I see when someone says politicians are fat and mentally ill, men are dangerous emotion-driven beasts, shaving body hair invites sexual assault of children, and liking blondes is a sign of moral corruption.

— Heda Segvic, in “No One Errs Willingly: The Meaning of Socratic Intellectualism”

what is synjectivism?

Likewise, also don't assume that all trans men are transmisogynists just because a few are.

Don't assume that all binary trans people are exorsexist just because a few binary trans people are

And don't assume that all perisex people are intersexist because a few perisex people are.

have you considered for even one minute that you're not the only damn people in the universe?

"oestrogen is a girly girl hormone" except there are nonbinary people and trans men whose dominant sex hormone is oestrogen and who may not want to go on T. it doesn't mean our hormones are "female" or "girly".

"testosterone is a manly man hormone" except there are nonbinary people and trans women whose dominant sex hormone is testosterone and who may not want to go on E. it doesn't mean their hormones are "male" or "manly".

just because cis people insist every single bodily function must be gendered does NOT mean trans people have to do the same.

like it's great you find your HRT affirming for your manhood or womanhood but it doesn't mean they're inherently male or female.