This is Me

clown gets home after a long day. tired, sweaty. peels off their colorful overalls on the way to the bathroom. gets in the shower and turns the knob. burst of confetti & ribbons from the showerhead. clown sighs. dries off with a long chain of hankies

she can barely get the door open before her 4 balloon dogs are squeaking in a pile in the foyer

she turns the knob on the stove and a few soft honks are heard before the burner ignites

she tries the wrong burner and it's a joy buzzer

she finally finishes making a pie for dinner, sets herself a place, sits down at the table, says clown grace, pours a glass of wine, takes a sip, arranges her napkin, & smashes the pie into her own face

Saying "it gets hot in the summer" when people complain about dangerous extreme heat is a form of climate change denial. Yes, it gets hot in the summer. The infrastructure usually didn't literally melt in the summer, and there weren't record-breaking highs every year.

real talk tho ive seen ppl talk abt how long hair on men isn't intrinsically feminine & assuming so is racist can we get the same convo going for Black women w short hair can we start talking abt how short hair isn't intrinsically masculine or is that a step too far

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

does anyone have that "doesn't have spotify girl" meme handy

YES you understand now

woah this sounds awesome can you put this on spotify