Stormy/slime

sometimes I feel like my coworkers actually want me to shut up and stop talking- yesterday they kept talking about other people and when I would say what or huh, they're conversation would stop- when I would rest or break for a minute, I could head them talking, I worried about it being about me- I don't know, I know i don't fit in but I guess i wanted to try to be friends- but they think im just gonna leave the job anyways- it feels like I was set up to fail, ig? I know everything i need to, I can work but I'm slow, but it feels like theyre pushing me away/blocking me out cause of their expectations

lowkey miss 2020 online stuff cause I miss how nice everyone was- now there's so much hate everywhere.. I just want to be a youtube cause even with having a job, I have to take pills to make myself go cause I'm that scared of people- but its different when I'm recording, its just me and the void which could be people, but its nice and comforting. No one can judge me until after its over, which then its like why even bother then? I love making content and I want to make more of it- I hate working cause its so social- i don't know what will happen if I run out of meds, I probably wouldn't be able to work anymore until im exhausted cause then id have to go so I could go home and sleep- i don't know what the future holds but it seems overwhelming- I just know that it will get better, I just need to hold on and it will get better-

yeah! (sorry text is down here cause I forgot to respond lol)