Well Consider My Flabbers Ghosted

…So! Which Papa accidentally blew their fingers or their whole hand off while trying to light up fireworks?

Then I thought:

It probably happened to all of these guys at some point in their lives. Their fingers can grow back because they’re Blessed By Satan.

Papa Nihil (young or old) : “Don’t bother calling an ambulance, that’s too expensive!”

Papa I Primo: *He reacts with annoyance. He’s clearly unafraid of pain, but he’s in a bad mood for the rest of the night. Someone makes a wisecrack, and he tries to strangle them with his other hand.*

Papa II Secondo: *He laments that he messed up something cool, and he’s quite embarrassed over that.”

Papa III Terzo: “It looks bad now, but we’re gonna laugh about this in a week, you know?”

*he faints from blood loss*

Papa IV Copia: *a similar reaction to Secondo. He’ll complain a lot about it. The fireworks he bought were really cool, too, he said.*

Perpy: *behind a lawn chair chewing something*

Copia: "What in the FUCK ARE YOU EATING!"

Any summer holiday is a good excuse for a Ministry barbeque, but some Papas enjoy it more than others...

Read on AO3

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Primo loves vegetables just out of principal, and actually prefers them over meat, especially as his digestive system has gotten more sensitive in his golden years. He'll make an exception when eating someone's still-beating heart in a ritual sacrifice, but hopefully today won't end in one of those. If he's in a jovial mood he'll stick to some sort of mixed vegetable kebab with some lean chicken, lovingly marinated in a vinaigrette of fresh herbs from his garden and whatever olive oil Terzo hasn't used up. If he's feeling more ornery he'll eat corn on the cob to excess, stomach be damned. And he's not dignified about it, spraying kernels all over himself and the people around him, all the while glaring at whoever annoyed him that day.

Secondo will stuff himself with hamburger after hamburger, extra rare and piled high with all the toppings, to the point that he's so painfully full that all he can do is find a lawn chair that reclines and undo his belt, becoming a sluggish observer of the rest of the day's activities and dabbing away the meat sweats with a silk handkerchief. The whole time he's eating he's bitching about how cheap the Ministry was with the food budget this year and that they should have had steaks instead of 'peasant food', but he secretly loves every charred, greasy morsel so people have learned to ignore his whining. And though it looks like he's drinking an ice cold beer, it's really ginger ale because he'll always end up with a tummy ache.

Terzo is far too sophisticated to enjoy eating in the out of doors, and wants to make a real point of it. He'll bring his own chair, naturally, quipping that an 'ass so divine cannot touch plastic', but it's really because he needs lumbar support. And he'll insist on something like swordfish steaks or filet mignon, which he'll also force his way to the grill to cook himself because it requires 'more finesse' than the kitchen staff is apparently capable of. He'll observe the revelry in his finest white linen sipping a chilled class of Lambrusco, hiding behind designer shades with an air of amused detachment. No one realizes how badly he'd like to join in the rough and tumble activities, if not for the crippling fear that he won't be perfect at them.

All the authority Copia has carefully built in his position as Frater gets drop-kicked out the window on barbeque day. He usually watches what he eats very carefully, desperate to not gain a single pound since his Papa days, not wanting anyone to thinking he was slipping...So today he's going to EAT. Honey smoked ribs and hot spicy wings are his favorite, and he ends up wearing just as much of it as what ends up in his stomach. His face is a saucy mess within minutes and by the end of the day he's starting to attract flies, but it's a good excuse for affectionate Siblings and Ghouls to kiss it away, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't love the attention. He washes it all down with those grenade-shaped, neon-colored drinks that are basically just sugar water 'to stay hydrated', never mind how many freeze-pops and fudgesicles he consumes 'to cool down'. He's on such a sugar high that he's pinging across the grounds, talking way too fast and misquoting movie lines. It isn't long after he drags the karaoke machine all the way from the recreation center with its impossibly long extension cord and clumsily onto the lawn that he crashes from his sugar high, sleeping through the fireworks yet another year.

A special batch of meat is reserved for Perpetua, and it's best not to ask what it is. Seriously, don't ask. Copia insists on him eating it in a bun, on a plate, with a knife and fork, mumbling something along the lines of 'can't you act normal one day out of the year, you're embarrassing me'. He tries his best, he really does. But once he's snuck enough of Terzo's wine he ends up in the trees under the guise of 'playing creature' with the foundlings of the Ministry orphanage. And in spite of his usual scolding and grumbling, it's Perpetua's lap that Copia end's up passed out in by the end of the night. He dutifully cleans up his twin's sticky face and hands as best he can without waking him, content to share a moth-eaten blanket under the stars and flashing rainbow lights. It's something he wishes they could have been doing together for years, but at least they have each other now.

Nihil picks at the fruit salad and grilled vegetables Sister has restricted him to all day with a dramatic scowl. He tries to sneak treats and cocktails, pleading unsuccessfully with Siblings who know better to assist in the heist, but somehow she always catches him. He ends the night sitting on a toilet scarfing down a bowl of potato salad that's hot from sitting in the sun and muttering obscenities quietly enough that she can't hear him. He'll pay for that tomorrow in more ways than one.

BONUS Mary spends the whole day chugging the cheapest, skunkiest beer and scarfing down hot dogs just so he has the excuse to mock-deep-throat them and wave them around in front of his crotch making dick jokes. He'll chain smoke more than usual since you're out in the 'fresh air'. And it isn't until the car ride home that you find out he snuck in a few bowls of chili too, just so he could trap you in a Dutch oven and laugh his ass off.

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@haunted-with-ink-art @blackcherryveil @ghuleshbabe @copiasslut @gh0ul-dinner @kittenburps

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what the fuck even... how is that... why would you...

The movie looks SO BAD it looks SO BAD you guys

what the fuck even... how is that... why would you...

The movie looks SO BAD it looks SO BAD you guys

what the fuck even... how is that... why would you...

The movie looks SO BAD it looks SO BAD you guys

what the fuck even... how is that... why would you...

The movie looks SO BAD it looks SO BAD you guys

Ok but srs talk, do yall think C is actually like a good kisser? Dang, a good lover?

So when he gets the green light, when someone is enthusiastically consenting, HOLD HIS MITRE GODDAMNIT HE’S GOT THIGHS TO GET BETWEEN.

This is now his time to shine. He will prove he was a worthy investment. Gratitude will be demonstrated with generous orgasms. He might actually become too intense. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind, but with more rug burns involved.

Exactly how I see him.

The “return investment” on Copia as a partner would be insane.

He’s a bit insecure until someone outright says to him: “Hey, I want you and only you.”

Once you’re all-in, he LOCKS IN.

Your expectations will get thoroughly exceeded.

This man will proceed to give, give, and then give some more with little expectation to receive much back. He gets off simply on getting you off.

And where does this all stem from?

It stems from the fact that this man is competitive and petty.

He has to be THE VERY BEST for his partner and make sure that anyone else will be henceforth ruined for you in the sense that nobody will ever, EVER be as amazing as he is.

Nobody will ever get you off like he does.

And this will only somehow manage to be topped by Copia himself if you insist on giving back, because—PHEWWWWWW! 🥵😮‍💨

He’s not so good in a crowd but when you get him alone You’d be surprised, He isn’t much at a dance But when he takes you home You’d be surprised He doesn’t look like much of a lover, but don’t judge a book by it’s cover. He’s got the face of an angel but There’s a devil in his eye. He’s such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze, You’d be surprised, He doesn’t look very strong but when you sit on his knee, You’d be surprised At a party or at a ball I’ve go to admit he’s nothing at all but in a Morris chair, You’d be surprised.

As Pride Month comes to an end, I just want to remind you that July is Disability Pride Month and there's a flag and everything!

Charcoal Grey: Mourning for people who have died due to ableist violence, abuse, suicide, and illness

Red Stripe: Physical disabilities

Gold Stripe: Neurodiversity

Blue Stripe: Emotional and psychiatric disabilities

Green Stripe: Sensory disabilities

Papas and their preferred method of torment.

Sadism is a WIDE array of behaviors, and can primarily be characterized by the sadist's pleasure at the discomfort of others, so! How does your favorite Papa make you squirm?

These are fictional characters, we are playing dolls, don't be too serious and feel free to imagine your Papa being as sweet as pie after he's done with you, we're all here to have fun.

Kinks ahead in no order: Piss, blood, impact play, shibari/rope/bondage, overstimulation, medical/examination kink, edging, public use pred/prey, blackmail