Uhhhhhhhhh

come back to me most perfect of comics

Hello bisexual community

Begin killing

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

I scheduled this post 364 days ago and squinted at it at least once each day from then until now the day of anniversary when I share my experience with you, personally.

I just noticed my darling baby boy (cat) sitting in his little loft bed about 5 inches away from the most delightful sunbeam, so I scooted it into the sunlight for him and he looked me with the biggest widest expression. I don’t think he knew that was an option. I think I just blew his whole little mind

HOLY SHIT MY BOY

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

*walks around my house in a tank top and underwear like im the only playable woman in a david cage game*

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

I see that "learned helplessness" is the hot new psychological term getting wildly misused. the phrase you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence," babes

these are two different things

i wish there was some kind of picture featuring a wolf and a lamb/bunny and it would be some sort of metaphore. like i just think it would be badass but i,m probably alone in this niche. nobody likes this

im probably fucked in the head

"Hey there pepperhead, legal isn't super exited about this tweet"

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”