grow up, this is neopets

great. a chivalric order has started nesting under my porch & theres no way i can afford a warlock to come clear it out so i guess now ive got to deal with men-at-arms swearing oaths of valor right outside my window at 4 am every morning

oh boy i wish someone would notice my cries for help! [someone actually notices] noooo i'm fine don't worry about me

i dont even want chips anymore

impregnate me so I can birth new flavors of ruffles

?

damn, she’s a bad bitch. oh they’re nonbinary? my bad. damn, they’re a bad person

you ever just feel the mental illness brewing in your brain like some kind of fucked up stew

friendship addicts will be like “i just need one more hit of your infectious laughter and zest for life”

I want the cello to come through the speakers and attack me

I know it's been like 15 years but "hey where's your bus pass, boy? When you're waiting for the bus in the rain have your bus pass ready or the people on the bus get annoyed" is a) still one of the funniest song lyrics out there and b) a really important PSA

How are my sweetie pees