YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I'M NOT ALIVE.

life is too hard. it’s too hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would like to be a cloud. 

Damn, that's useful

Commenting "God isn't real, stupid" on a post of someone asking for prayers for a sick family member doesn't make you seem like a smarter, more intelligent individual, it just makes you sound like a raging, hateful loser lmao

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

My favorite is when someone say “ya know?” And I respond with “unfortunately”. Gets me every time.

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.

This text thread brought us into a new age

Holy shit, the original

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

Im glad they made up romance for stories and music but can you imagine how scary it would be to deal with all that for real

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one