The Trojan War Adaptation Bingo
Square #1: The gods are either absent or significantly downplayed. (This is more prominent in adaptations of the Iliad; the Odyssey seems to have more leeway to include gods.)
Square #2: A character inexplicably speaks and behaves like an Enlightenment skeptic regarding the existence of the gods.
Square #3: Diomedes does not exist. (This seems to be related to the deletion of the gods, since his most famous scene involves him stabbing Ares and Aphrodite, but it's not like that's all he does.)
Square #4: Ajax the Lesser, Idomeneus, Ascalaphus, Tlepolemos, Menestheus, Nestor's sons, Thersites, and any other secondary kings neither exist nor are mentioned.
Square #5: Aside from "Aeneas is Rome", Hector and Paris are the only named Trojan soldiers.
Square #6: Cassandra is the only one of Priam's daughters to exist. None of Priam’s other children besides Hector and Paris will appear.
Square #7: Neoptolemus doesn't exist. Neither does Philoctetes.
Square #8: Penthesilea and Memnon don't exist in spite of being awesome.
Square #9: If Nestor appears, his role will be limited to a couple of lines of advice, and he will inevitably be ignored by everyone, especially Agamemnon.
Square #10: The Oath of Tyndareus will be quietly removed, and no one will explain why Odysseus is now in the war. Sometimes he gets forced into the war via the exposure of his madness anyway, and he should thus hate everyone; sometimes he's just there for no clear reason at all.
Square #11: Paris will be portrayed sympathetically, even though the most sympathetic part about his backstory (being raised as a shepherd and then finding out "surprise, you're actually important") is often cut.
Square #12: Patroclus is younger than Achilles, when he's supposed to be older.
Square #13: Alternatively, he doesn't exist and so Achilles kills Hector and desecrates his corpse for no real reason.
Square #14: Achilles is too old.
Square #15: Achilles acts like he's read his own PR and is super super famous before the war starts.
Square #16: Achilles is basically just a petulant psychopath. Also he acts less mature than his Iliadic counterpart despite being played by a man in his forties.
Square #17: Ajax the Greater is either a wannabe Achilles, a viking, or barely in the film.
Square #18: Agamemnon is EVIL CONQUEROR MAN. He wants land and gold, or the female lead. Even if it's Helen.
Square #19: Agamemnon's "leadership" is just him shouting and threatening everybody else. Frequently he's not even a particularly impressive warrior. (Troy, I am looking at you.)
Square #20: Menelaus is much older than Helen, and also probably abusive.
Square #21: Alternatively, he's entirely a puppet for his brother.
Square #22: Mycenaean Sparta is treated like it's classical Sparta. It helps make Menelaus seem more evil. (But weirdly does not translate to "so he's an epic warrior"). Also, it will sometimes be implied that he is the Spartan king by birth and that Helen was sent to Sparta to marry him, which makes little sense.
Square #23: The Greeks are apparently incapable of coming up with a plan that does not involve charging straight at the Trojan archers and dying en masse until Odysseus hits on the horse at the end of the movie.
Square #24: Odysseus is apparently the only smart person in the entire Greek army. Sometimes to the point where he seems to know the plot, like in Helen of Troy 1956 where he reacts to Achilles' death with "So ends Greek courage. But not Greek cunning.'
Square #25: A character is killed at the wrong time or by the wrong person (e.g., Paris kills Patroclus in the 1956 Helen of Troy; Hector kills both Menelaus and Ajax in Troy (2004)).
Square #26: Hector, who is already the most sympathetic man in the story, basically becomes perfect.
Square #27: Priam also becomes perfect.
Square #28: Agamemnon and Achilles's quarrel is basically a drunken bar fight. Or doesn't happen at all.
Square #29: Odysseus spends the entire movie as the designated babysitter of the Greek army. Because Agamemnon is EVIL CONQUEROR MAN, Ajax is a viking, Achilles is sulking, and Menelaus is a puppet or angry about his wife.
Square #30: Odysseus is inexplicably the only decent person in the Greek army.
Square #31: Odysseus is also the only Greek with a family at home. Menelaus's daughter and Agammenon's kids don't exist, and no one talks about their parents.
Square #32: Alternatively, Iphigenia does exist, but only so we can reiterate that Agamemnon is EVIL CONQUEROR MAN.
Square #33: There will be trebuchets, Roman tactics, and/or Classical hoplite armor in 1200 BC.
Square #34: The Trojans use fire arrows.
Square #35: The women will all have modern hair and makeup, and only vaguely look like they belong anywhere near the BC era.
Square #36: The leading men are bald and/or have improbably short hair. And no one the audience is supposed to find attractive will have a full beard except maybe Odysseus.
Square #37: Helen exists entirely for the Paris romance subplot (the extent to which this becomes the main plot of the movie varies).
Square #38: The movie treats Agamemnon being the Great King as him effectively being the Emperor of Greece. Which is weird since Odysseus and Menelaus are usually still explicitly kings, but are nevertheless treated like Agamemnon’s employees.
Square #39: Achilles is treated like he’s just some guy who’s good at fighting instead of a prince.
Square #40: Agamemnon uses phrases like “defensive aggression” to justify the war with Troy. Alternatively, he decides he’s Alexander the Great a thousand years early.
Square #41:Paris either survives until the fall of Troy or doesn’t die at all.
Square #42: Achilles is either killed by Paris immediately after killing Hector, dies mysteriously offscreen, or dies after participating in the fall of Troy.
Square #43: Agamemnon dies during the fall of Troy somehow because he is the EVIL BAD GUY.
Feel free to add your own entries!
