I'm a slug bug, and that's okay

Every contemporary appearance of Magnus Carlsen looks like he's been freshly thawed off from Ice Age permafrost. Those guys really do take their time planning every move.

Sedating somebody to prep them for the chair, but all you do is strap them on to a monobloc and put one hand on a bowl of water

I was this close to giving this restaurant's plumbing a very thorough QA test but saw they didnt even pack toilet paper in the damn bathroom

Right now, I'm thinking of any monster who gets their own exclusive accent like Dracula, and all I can muster is maybe Frankenstein's, but even then thats kinda just like (literally) brain dead slurred gravely dead speech

Time to find out what eating 250 grams of tapioca pearls as a main meal is gonna do to ya

It maks total sense because everybody was way fucking big back then, but still the idea of T-Rexes pack hunting feels so overkill

I wish I had some buff as shit bodybuilder friends so I can pull a trick on them by a having a conversation on their phone while doing a grip strength thingy on their other hand and hope they fuck up