wallacepolsom

oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
AnasAbdin
will byers stan first human second

pixel skylines

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Acquired Stardust
noise dept.

izzy's playlists!
Monterey Bay Aquarium
sheepfilms

JVL
we're not kids anymore.
$LAYYYTER
hello vonnie
cherry valley forever

ellievsbear

JBB: An Artblog!

seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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@six31

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howling
people will really come into kink spaces and say you can't forcefem women like there wasn't a feature length movie about an elderly gay man forcefemming a woman as part of scheme to thwart an elaborate assassination attempt before the killer even determined their target
What... What movie is this.
ain't no way in hell this post even breaks 500
i was trying so hard to remember the nonexistent assassination subplot in My Fair Lady
*he queeres* place on *he in*erne*

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you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life
lays a 136 GB egg in your hard drive. and you can't delete it because i'm an endangered species
this is exactly what it's like to archive laserdiscs
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
Perfect example of an untranslatable joke. 😂
hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

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Link to the gay porn library of Alexandria.
Happy pride.
This is actually super cool from a media preservation stand point!!
there is a stripper pole in my attic. i saw it in a dumpster one day, and i went, shit, this is exactly the kind of thing my wife would want. and i didnt really want it in the house, what with it being a used stripper pole lightly seasoned with dumpster juice, but i mentally decided that if she were to see it and ask for it, i would say she could have it, and then sure enough, later that evening, she went soooo baaaaaaaabs there's this thing by the dumpster and i want it but i get it if you don't want it in the house but i have to show it to you- and i went, no you dont, you can have the pole, and that was the most surprised i have ever made her look. even compared to the day when i proposed to her, which she was prepared enough that we both knew she would say yes, and she could also get her hair done up and have a cute outfit, but not so prepared that she was not fucking flabbergasted by the 12 empty decoy ringboxes i sprung on her. i handed her so many decoy ring boxes that day. still one of the funniest things i've ever done to her.
anyway we like pacing around together and ranting in the attic but sometimes instead of pacing one of us will just hang on the pole and spin, and the other person will watch on the beanbag, which makes for these really goofy conversations where the person on the bag will say something that gets the other persons goat, such as, hypothetically, that xylophones do not belong in rock music, and then the other person will go on a tirade about this, but they'll actually only be facing the Hot Take Speaker half of the time, what because of the pole, so the response will sound something like
I can't believe
you would even suggest such
a stupid opinion. You've
been to a Danny Elfman
concert! How can you
have heard Oingo Boingo
live and say with a straight face
that they alone do not justify
rock and roll xylophones
and then that person will continue until they get too dizzy, then they'll get off the pole, and by unspoken agreement, the person on the bag will get up and trade places with them to deliver their rebuttal while also spinning and it just creates this sort of crazy strip-court lawyers debating absolute nonsense for no reason kind of vibe that frankly just really does it for us.
i don't really have any marriage advice for this i guess its just a look at what being married can look like. i thought that being married would involve a lot more stuff like carving the turkey, or barbecuing, or watching the sunset, and if id known how much time it would involve arguing for xylphones in rock music while spinning upside down i might have prepared for it a little differently.
its NOT a phase
hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now
Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.
well. that one’s on me

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Fun fact about me is that I'm stupid.
When I was a child (maybe six years old?) I asked my parents what thoughts were, and they told me "they're the pictures in your head". I agreed like this explained things, but unknown to all of us, I have aphantasia, and since I never had pictures in my head I secretly concluded that I was incapable of thought. The way people talked about thinking made it sound really important, so I went for literal years carefully guarding this secret and when people told me to think about what I was doing etc. I'd stay quiet and pretend I was capable of thinking. I didn't want anyone to find out I couldn't think.
When I was about eight, my mother's horse ate sand and got colic and she was up all night with him. The next day, I was told that he went to live on a nice farm.
I was in my thirties before I thought back to the situation and realised that Zamada had died.
I was literally too stupid to punish as a child. I have a lot of very clear memories of being sent to sit in a corner or told to stay in a class at recess and my opinion of the situation was 'I guess this is my role in whatever the current school activity is'. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realised that I'd spent so much time in reception and year 1 in time out or detention. Did not even register that that was happening at the time.
I used to have a very strong fear of snakes and when I was a little kid I was, for some reason, under the impression that the snakes had some kind of secret conspiracy where they wanted to kill me. We had frequent power outages (I'm unsure if it was the area's infrastructure or if my parents just couldn't keep up with the electricity bills) and every time the power went out at night I'd jump up on a chair or table or something and refuse to come down until I had light, because I believed that snakes had bitten through the power cables and were swarming across the floor in the dark ready to bite me while I couldn't see them.
I thought that Jesus was just a guy who obtained magical powers by being born on Christmas Day and decided to use his powers to help people. Like a superhero. I didn't know anything about superheroes at the time so when I later learned about Superman and Batman and stuff I was like "oh, like Jesus Christ!"
My great grandmother was also born on Christmas day and I could never understand why she either didn't have magic powers, or did but kept lying to me about it.
#read this whole post out to my girlfriend and she went 'these are all different people right'
Okay listen,
#showed this post to my mom when it was just the first two updates#and then again after the “yes I have autism” update#she read through the whole thing and then scrolled through it twice#growing increasingly confused until she asked me “this is all the same person????”
Everyone's loved ones are so confused by my individuality
knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey