Sir Viscount

trespassing is french for very passing

u could resurface a hockey rink w that ass cause it's so zamn boney

downloading a sobriety tracker app then immediately drinking beer & coffee & smoking cigarettes & weed because you don’t remember when exactly you last did any of those things but want the timers to be accurate

is it punk to punch birds out of the air

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

she 🫪 on my 🫪 till i 🫪

the aspec flags honestly have some of the best color language out of any of the pride flags so shouts out aspec community for being really good flag designers

"The thing is, you have to be able to follow all these complex unspoken social rules or people will think you're a bad person-" yeah I know! Could we maybe talk about how that isn't great actually

for pride month lets all headcanon more characters as aroallo, yeah? non-sam aro too, lets all do that together, for pride month

asking my therapist to rank me among her other patients

when i try to be nice to myself: he's not gonna fuck you bro

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

a

I was trying to do the post chain thing where I reblogged with every following alphabet in 26 minutes intervals but I completely forgot I even started this

Puppy with a clever brown hat

My idea

Yes i want it