i'm glad you like my potato

last two letters of your first name

middle two letters of your last name

first two letters of your mother’s name

last letter of your father’s name

if you’re eavesdropping and hear people talking about you and they say something upsetting

And you find fault with us?

A mother who tortured her children the way she’s tortured us isn’t fit to bear the title “mother”. A mother who feeds and then starves, a mother who gives birth and then slaughters…

United States

Mexico

Canada

Netherlands

Posh Scotland

Rice Button:

Brazil

Breadloaf Button???:

France

No Dedicated Carbs Button:

australian amazon only sells books?? what the fuck

same for chinese amazon but that’s not as surprising

german microwaves have a potato button, but only when there are buttons. most of these things have dials. like… what. only weird fancy american microwaves have dials. also i saw a yogurt button.

indian microwaves seem to generally feature a ‘stuffed veg’ button instead of a potato-specific button. there is also a rice button. but do you know what else is standard. A GODDAMNED CHICKEN TANDOORI BUTTON. FUCK ME.

german and indian microwaves both had beverage buttons, which was not a surprise, but they also both had pizza buttons, which WAS a surprise. the indian microwaves called it a bread snack but it was clearly a picture of a pizza. why is the pizza button more universal than the potato button??

japanese microwaves have rice buttons and not potato buttons. no surprises there. the big surprise is that they also favor the dial. for that matter india had a lot of microwaves with dials, too. what gives. why the dials. where are your flat, easy to clean buttons.

according to italian amazon, in italian you call a kitchenaid stand mixer a “robot da cucina”. that is the cutest fucking thing i have ever heard. but back to microwaves. once again i’m seeing a lot of dials. you know these aren’t real ovens, right? why are you adjusting the strength so much. keep it on high and hit the one minute button. stop complicating things with dials. a lot of these are just rebranded german microwaves, so there is a potato button, and also a yogurt button.

see above for spain. y’all just have the same microwave. spain’s amazon is a lot less intuitive than every other country’s. i don’t know why. spanish amazon, please fix your menu system. it is wrong.

Most folks here seem to use the oven, or make mashed potatoes by boiling + mashing. I could be wrong, but I’ve never seen anyone use that button ever.